Wachovia Redux.
In a comment to yesterday’s post, one of my Montana blog buddies, TL Hines, advised me that Wachovia, which I was pronouncing as Watch-OVAH-ya, is really pronounced “Walk-OVAH-ya.” This was confirmed by a reader, Dex, who hails from Virginia, which he notes is the state in which Wachovia first surfaced.
As a result of receiving this important information, I decided to share my feelings with the people at Wachovia in the following open letter:
Dear Dweebs of Wachovia:
Yours is but one of the many banks that, for one reason or another, has taken up residence in my town. However, the thing that distinguishes your bank from the others that comprise this invading hoard is that your bank has a really dumb name. What the hell kind of name for a bank is “Wachovia”? Do you mean to tell me that people actually leave their money in a place with dipshit name like that?
Now I learn that, not only have you given your crummy bank a seriously lame name, but also that you pronounce it funny. How the hell do you get “Walk-OVAH-ya” out of Wachovia? No English speaking, right-thinking person would say it that way. Are you people from Mars? Estonia?
So, what’s the deal? Is this one of those instances where you say, “Well, Jimbo, It’s spelled ‘Wachovia,’ but it’s pronounced ‘Hornswoggledillyfuddywalawalabingbang’.” (Thanks and apologies to Monty Python) Baloney!
Look, I question whether our town is big enough for 15 banks, but I am damned sure that we don’t have room for a bank with a ridiculous name, which is made even worse by your insisting that it be pronounced in some dumbass way.
I believe that I speak for all the fine people of my town (many of whom, by the way, are veterans — something that is decidedly trendy these days) when I demand that you knuckleheads change the name of your bank to something that sounds more like a damned bank, rather than some Boy Scout summer camp. Wachovia, indeed. Feh.
In the meantime, I intend to continue to do all my banking at Augie and Tony’s Savings and Loan, where everyone who opens a new account gets a coupon for a medium pepperoni pie at Giglio’s Pizza-rama.
Get with it, or get outta town.
Yours truly,
Jimbo the Bank Crank
Great post. Iloved it.
Comment by Jim T. — February 25, 2004 @ 11:34 pm
Wonderful letter. I always thought it was walk-OH-vee-yuh. Talk amongst yourselves.
Comment by topdawg — February 26, 2004 @ 7:40 am
TopD,
No pepperoni pie for youse. To bank at Augie and Tony’s, youse gotta tawk right.
Da Management
Comment by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop — February 26, 2004 @ 8:09 am
Too funny! When Hubby and I moved to NC, we thought it was pronounced the same way you did. Like they were trying to say something really stupid as in, “we’re watching over your money” or something.
Comment by Casey — February 26, 2004 @ 3:52 pm
The rat bastards bought out the bank we use for my business… As soon as I run out of the stack of custom checks, I’m moving to a nice normal sounding bank… Great letter!
Comment by TIm — February 26, 2004 @ 6:39 pm
I first heard of Wachovia back in 1988 when they bought my student loan. Now they bought out First Union, so I’m stuck with them again.
I’ve always pronounced it “WATCH OVER YA”, as in big brother watching over you.
Comment by roberto — February 28, 2004 @ 2:19 pm
Roberto,
Spoken like a true Jersey Guy.
Comment by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop — February 28, 2004 @ 3:34 pm
Too funny! Like Jim T., in Illinois where we moved from and in Wilmington, NC where we live now, it’s pronounced walk OHH vee yuh ….. not caring for all the chit banks give you, I kinda like the “walk OHH veh ya” !
Comment by Betsy — March 2, 2004 @ 10:37 pm
Comment by Anonymous — March 29, 2004 @ 8:31 pm
Whether you pronounce it “watch over ya” or “walk over ya,” it’s not really what I want from a bank. Great post!
Comment by Megan — August 18, 2007 @ 11:47 pm