I Hate Computers.
My incoming Comcast e-mail cratered again. I called Comcast again, hoping for a repeat of the quick fix I got last night. However, this time I was told that I would have to “re-ad my TCP/IP” (whatever) and that I needed an operating system disc at the ready. I had to locate and sift through all the goddamned discs that came with the computer. Of course, none of the discs that came with this f***ing computer seemed to match the description the Comcast person gave me. She told me to call Dell, get an operating system disc and get back to her when I received it.
So I called Dell. After about a 45 minute wait, I got a gentleman who might have been answering the phone in India, or he might be an Indian man answering from somewhere else — I could not tell. I had to ask him to repeat everything at least three times. Before he would talk to me, he wanted my “alpha-numeric” number on the back of the computer. Getting to the back of the computer tower is no easy task. It is a spaghetti mess, and it is dark.
I said, “Look, I was told that I needed an operating system disc. Can you just send me the disc?” I had to repeat the foregoing about five times. It was as if I never said anything. He simply repeated, “Sir, would you give me the number from the back of your computer.” I located a dying flashlight, tipped the tower so that I could find the f***ing alpha-numeric bar code number on the back of the computer, which I had to read upside down.
I gave him the number. In fact, I gave him the number at least four times, which roughly matched the number of times I had to repeat my name, address and phone number. We did this linguistic back and forth for another hour while I did all the “Settings” and “Network” clicking he told me to do. In the meantime, he described one of the discs I have as being the operating system disc, but he still had me clicking all over the place. He was acting as if he could fix the problem there.
Next came the inevitable request that I re-start the computer. All that turned out to mean was that we could repeat the entire unintelligible and exasperating process from scratch. He obviously thought that he had it wired, as he said, “I’m sending you an e-mail now.” (Actually, he had to say that about four times before I could understand him). I told him that he could send fifty e-mails if he wanted, but I was still getting the same error. In fact, I asked him if he wanted me to try to send myself a goddamned e-mail from AOL. He ignored me and repeated that he was “sending me an e-mail” and that I should have it soon.
He told me that he would call me back in a half hour. It is now forty-five minutes later, the f****ing e-mail still doesn’t work ane he hasn’t called. I have been at this shit for almost four hours.
I’ve got five to one says he doesn’t call.
Did I mention that I f***ing hate computers?
Right about now I hate just about everyfuckingthing.
Jim,
Never doubt it for a minute, you were talking to Sahib in India. I played the game for a couple of months regarding Dell rebates and finally resorted to a rebate forum on the Dell website. They solved the problem. Sahib and company just pissed me off.
Of course they are far from the only company doing this. I recently experienced the same difficulty talking to the AT&T help line when I was on assignment with FEMA. I got Sahib’s wife who had no idea where I was calling from and could not explain why I was in the only place in California that got roaming charges with the AT&T Nationwide Long Distance Plan. She told me the paper I got with the phone showed roaming areas. I am sure everyone carries that little jewel in their breast pocket. She gave me a 100 extra minutes because I was pissed and yelling at her. I thanked her for giving me minutes I could not use where I was. The next day I tried again and got someone that spoke English well and knew where California was. She was friendly and solved my problem but she was still not in America. She was in Alberta, Canada. Something wrong with this picture when there is over 6 % unemployment in America and my town hovers around 12% or better. Let’s hear it for NAFTA and the other programs that take American jobs overseas.
We bought a new Grand Marquis last weekend. My second one and they are a nice car. I thought I was buying American and then found out they are made in Canada. Too bad they didn’t equip it with a sample pack of Viagra from Canada for the jockey box.
All this and I passed the big 60 mark this past weekend. Tally Ho
Brian
“Proud to be a Veteran”
Comment by Brian — March 10, 2004 @ 3:11 am
Have you tried to access Comcast webmail
at http://www.comcast.net/comcast.html
Comment by Dan Kauffman — March 10, 2004 @ 6:55 am
Mr. F, did you read that article in Salon a while back about the crappy customer support SOP? Err, the URL is: http://www.salon.com/tech/feature/2004/02/23/no_support/index.html but if you are not registered as a member at Salon, to read it you have to watch this series of ads. Anyway, I am a subscriber to Salon, and if you want, let me know and I will email you the text (I think TJ is a member too, so she could also), because it is freaking insane, reading that. I live in fear of calling tech support now.
Comment by Sarah — March 10, 2004 @ 6:58 am
Yea, I just dealt with the Dell support people in India myself. The first person I talked to I could barely understand but luckily my question was over his head and I was transfered to someone else. At least he was easier to understand. After two hours om the phone we still didn’t have the problem fixed and he said he would call me back in 45 min after he consulted a technical expert. In 45 min he called back, during the time he was gone I managed to fix the problem myself, and the call was over, thankfully.
Comment by Sarpy Sam — March 10, 2004 @ 7:32 am
You are suffering from a devastating malady discovered in the late 1960’s, known as “the Uncle Billy Syndrome”.
Symptoms include:
1) A low tolerance for technological frustration. Like throwing a $250. camera into the Atlantic Ocean.
2) A low tolerance for intellectually-challenged people of other cultures. Remember the Award Winning Essay “Why I Love The Polonka”.
3)A rapidly multiplying rage,generated by circumstances that the average person would overlook.Like throwing an oil delivery truck driver’s keys down the sewer.Watch out for an inappropriate response to the guy working the Pick-it machine.
Comment by cousin gary — March 10, 2004 @ 7:51 am
I can’t believe Gary beat me to the punch. I clicked over to mention that you were sounding a bit like our dearly departed uncle only to find I wasn’t the only one who thought so.
I think the only thing to do now is put on the soundtrack to Madame Butterfly and curl up with the poodles…..
Comment by cousin annie — March 10, 2004 @ 9:44 am
I assume you are making this post from your own computer, given the time.
If that’s so, I don’t see why they would be telling you that you need to reinstall TCP/IP. If your TCP/IP was “broken”, you likely wouldn’t be able to do anything at all on the web.
Basically, they’re sending you on a wild goose chase to let you know they’re “Doing Something About It.” Really, it just means they’re clueless.
My hunch is that you’ve got a nasty virus, or some sort of javascript worm clogging up your mail. I’ve seen that happen dozens of times.
As Dan mentioned above, you can try to access your mail via the web, and delete any messages that are either Spam, or that you aren’t expecting — especially those with attachments.
If that doesn’t work, there are probably some other things we can try.
Email me and let me know. (Kidding!)
If you need it, you have my phone number. I speak English fairly well, and we might be able to get you back on track. 🙂
Comment by mtpolitics — March 10, 2004 @ 9:48 am
Don’t forget to contact Dell and let them know how *very* much you appreciate the experience you had with the customer “service” (pointing out that it was the same kind of service a cow gets from a bull might be appropriate).
Welcome to the wonderful world of “outsourcing” – at the present rate, a couple more years, and you’ll be calling N!fklan in his hut in upper Bwanaland because HIS village was the low bidder.
Comment by Dorsai65 — March 10, 2004 @ 10:16 am
Hope my advice helped. I LOVE my webmail interface.
I have downloaded maybe a half a dozen emails to my Outlook Express in the last two years, the rest stays on mediacom’s servers. 😉
I consider it my first line of defense against viruses.
Comment by Dan Kauffman — March 10, 2004 @ 2:54 pm
All Dell’s helplines have been outsourced to India. When businesses threatened to dump their Dells because of this, the *corporate* help lines were brought back to the US.
But you, poor sucker, are an individual. You might write to the Republicans in power and thank them for making outsourcing one of the things they approve of 🙂
Scorpio
http://scorpio.typepad.com/eccentricity
Comment by scorpio — March 10, 2004 @ 8:41 pm
Oh my George, James said everyfuckingthing. I never! 😉
Comment by Tiger — March 10, 2004 @ 11:43 pm
Friday Afternoon Trip Around the Blogs
Harvey is quite annoyed because the posts he’s finding at Bonfire of the Vanities DON’T suck pond water. It’s okay Harvey, I submitted my useless post from yesterday – so next week there will be at least one REALLY BAD
Trackback by Technicalities — March 12, 2004 @ 6:24 pm