Good for What Ails Ya.
Are you bothered by any of these things?
Traffic jams around shopping malls.
Parents who let their kids run loose in stores.
Waiting on long lines at stores to pay too much money for too many dumb things.
Credit card solicitations.
Commercials that suggest that things like a plunger or a box of paper clips make a “perfect holiday gift.â€
Driving yourself nuts trying to figure out what to buy for someone who doesn’t “need†a damned thing.
Bruce Springsteen singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.â€
(For bloggers) – The feeling that you have already written every original thought you have had or that you are ever likely to have.
If any or all of the above is frosting your ass, contact your doctor immediately and ask for a prescription for this.
Thanks to my friend Brian, the Air Force vet.
You can get a generic equivalent at your local tavern. Other than that, it’s a blockbuster.
Comment by Dan — December 13, 2004 @ 10:05 pm
I’ve had good luck with Helwidit. Side effects include . . . I forget, a bunch of stuff.
Comment by Mike Hill — December 13, 2004 @ 10:09 pm
I’ve found that I prefer Scroomall. Not only is it effective, but the more you use it, the less you NEED to use it.
Comment by DMerriman — December 14, 2004 @ 8:56 am
Hmmm, a plunger and a box of paper clips as gifts. Guess it could be perfect for the person on your list who has likes to collate while squating on a stool with problematic plumbing.
Comment by OkieMinnie — December 14, 2004 @ 2:08 pm
Good Things About Christmas
1) Bing Crosby and David Bowie harmonizing on a Christmas song
2) Bill Murray in “Scruged”
3) The Phil Spector Chrismas Album (recorded long before Phil’s OJ moment)
4) Christmas Dinner, which always turns out better than Thanksgiving dinner (less pressure)
5) The sight of young kids ripping open presents, without pretending to give a s*** where it came from
Comment by cousin gary — December 14, 2004 @ 2:35 pm
You mean Bruce yelling “Santa…..”
Comment by Joseph — December 15, 2004 @ 1:33 pm