Unseen by the cameras, many of those in attendance for the recent State of the Union address were sending text messages. As usual, PRS Operatives were on the case with their proprietary technology. Here’s what went on under the radar:

Rahm Emmanuel and Janet Napolitano

Rahm: Hey, Lard Ass!

Janet: What??

Rahm: Wake the f**k up!

Janet: I was just resting my eyes, Rahm.

Rahm: Bullshit! Nod off one more time and you’ll be lucky to work in the Department of Sanitation in Possum Breath, Arizona!

Rahm Emmanuel and Joe Biden

Rahm:: Hey, Dipshit. I see Pelosi standing and clapping and U are sitting on ur ass. WTF?

Biden: Rahm, the woman is an asshole. We both know that.

Rahm: R U questioning me?

Biden: U R not the boss of me. I work for the President!

Rahm: I had U all wrong. I knew U were stupid, but now I know that U R also delusional!

Biden: I want a meeting w/ the President!

Rahm: ROTFLMAO!! I can’t believe U can even dress yourself. Get your ass out of that f**king chair and get Ur f**king hands together!

Justice Sam Alito to Justice Antonin Scalia

Alito: Where R U?

Scalia: I’m rearranging my sock drawer. LOL.

Alito: I thought you would be here; we were all invited.

Scalia: I know. I would rather have my fingernails pulled out.

Alito: I know. Oh, how I know. How about next year, this time, we skip this and head to the Jersey Shore for sausage, peppers and onion sandwiches?

Scalia: Works for me, Bro.