This is recycled stuff from one of my other blogs, so I apologize in advance. I feel bad being charged with neglecting two blogs at the same time, so you get re-runs.

My kids have really enjoyed the “Thomas the Tank Engine” books and videos.

It’s kind of amusing for the adults, too. Most dialogue seems to go something like this.

Thomas (cheerfully): Hi! My name is Thomas, and you’re ugly!

James: Shove it up your piehole.

Narrator: This made Thomas cross.

[. . .]

Thomas: I’m sorry I called you a syphilitic ass-clamp.

James: That’s OK, I’m sorry I poured kerosene in your bunghole.

Sir Topham Hatt: You’re both very naughty engines.

Thomas and James: Get bent, fatso.

Narrator: And Thomas and James were sold to the scrap yard for $6/ton. Maybe part of them is in your silverware!

Good stuff, that Thomas. I think you could make a drinking game out of it. Every time an engine is made cross, that’s a drink. When an engine’s reach exceeds its grasp, that’s a drink, and when Sir Topham Hatt chews them out, you have to chug.

That oughta work.

But you should probably wait until the kids are in bed.