Friday* Five – Hair!

1. Is your hair naturally curly, wavy, or straight? Long or short?

Longish, thick and wavy. I have great hair. No point in being modest about it. I have great farookin’ hair.

I bullshit you not.

One time, a guy peeing in the urinal next to the one I was using looked over at me and said, “Would it be O.K. if I ask you a question?”

The large number of you who don’t pee standing up should know that, in general, talking to strangers while peeing is a breach of men’s room etiquette. Proper etiquette dictates that, while peeing, one remains silent, with eyes locked onto the imaginary spot on the wall directly in front of one’s face.

So, I was a understandably a bit surprised to have this guy, whom didn’t know, talk to me at all. And, I was even more surprised to have him request permission to ask me a question. Did I mention that this guy was bald? Well, he was.

Not wanting to violate the Men’s Room Code of the West, but at the same time not wanting to be rude, or even more importantly, not wanting to possibly piss off (bad choice of words, I know) the bald, inquisitive talk-while-peeing nutbar next to me, I responded, “Sure.”

He said, “My wife loves your toupee, and she asked me to find out where you got it.”

No baloney. That’s what they guy said. I assured him that my hair was indeed my hair. I wasn’t sure he believed me, but I damned well wasn’t about to invite him to reach over and give it a tug.

2. How has your hair changed over your lifetime?

It was originally dark, dark brown. Now it is salty and peppery, but it’s getting a little saltier each year. Damned nice hair.

3. How do your normally wear your hair?

Back, no part. Sort of like Richard Gere’s doo.

4. If you could change your hair this minute, what would it look like?

Change it? No way. It’s my best physical asset. Did I mention that it is exceptional hair?

5. Ever had a hair disaster? What happened?

Army Basic Training. ‘Nuff said.

* It is now about fifty minutes into Saturday, but I didn’t get around to posting this until now. So shoot me. But just don’t screw around with my hair.