John Edwards’ To-Do List.
PRS Operatives have been following the campaigns of the democrat presidential candidates and have come upon a copy of Former Senator and Vice Presidential Candidate John Edwards’ To-Do List. We thought it would be of some interest to PRS Readers, so without further ado, here it is:
1. Sell the goddamned embarrassing SUVs, and fire the sonofabitch who allowed them to be photographed.
2. Spend more time in sun. That café au lait look works wonders for that Johnny-Come-Lately, rat bastard Obama.
3. Spend less time fantasizing about addressing Hillary as, “You filthy, lying, criminal bitch†at the next debate.
4. Call tailor to have him make suits that look more pedestrian.
5. Develop talking point to explain how it is that hedge funds really don’t exclude the Other America.
6. Hire a voice coach to teach me how to speak with one of those cool black accents like Hillary does.
7. Send a dead rat to John Kerry.
8. Ditto Ann Coulter.
9. Send flowers to Arianna Huffington.
10. Practice swallowing collard greens without gagging.
11. Call that Kos guy to tell him that the Secretary of Defense job is in the bag.
12. Call Jimbo for hair care product advice.
I think he already knows how to swallow without gagging. Just sayin’.
Comment by RT — September 5, 2007 @ 9:40 pm
That was quite Jersey of me, eh?
Comment by RT — September 5, 2007 @ 9:40 pm
What… he’s not gonna have some Cristal and weed with Nancy? Then Nance could run right back to Hil and tell all! I can see it now.
Comment by Teresa — September 5, 2007 @ 10:38 pm
I’ll let someone borrow my chainsaw to cut down that socialist platform he is standing on..
HEY! I thought you were gonna redecorate Eric’s place. I can’t get in..he hid the keys too good I reckon
Comment by GUYK — September 5, 2007 @ 10:50 pm
Sorry he scares you so bad. You’re gonna get him, Hillary, or your pal “Barry.” Better decide which one you want.
Comment by Cousin Jack — September 6, 2007 @ 2:31 am
Cuz,
Wrong. I don’t have to decide which one of them I want; the democrats have to decide which one of them they want. As for Edwards, he doesn’t scare me, because he doesn’t have a shot. Come November ’08, I don’t see the American people electing whichever of the three of them ultimately wins the democrat primaries. All three of them make me sick.
Comment by Jim — September 6, 2007 @ 8:41 am
Remind me not to be in the middle of swallowing my evening wine repast so as the monitor stays clean.
I loved every bit of this.
And thanks for leaving a comment on my bad day yesterday. Really made me smile.
Comment by aithne — September 6, 2007 @ 8:02 pm