Bloggers Unite!
The screenwriters have been on strike for a couple weeks, and now it appears that some news writers may also strike. Hell, even the Broadway stagehands have walked off the job, thereby screwing the peeps, especially tourists, who bought show tickets months ago and flew the family into New York to see “Jersey Boys.â€
I thinking that maybe bloggers ought to consider going on strike too. After all, we write stuff, don’t we?
Here are some suggested demands (A strike isn’t worth beans without demands):
1. Hours. The hours are terrible. Many bloggers write into the wee hours of the morning, often after having worked all day and dealt with a full plate of Life 101. Some write early in the morning or in small bits at permitted times during the day. This saps our spirit and our creativity. We should demand regular and civilized hours!
2. Working Conditions. Have you ever seen photos of the squalor in which some bloggers write? Empty soda/beer cans, fast food, candy and snack wrappers, papers strewn all over the place and overloaded ash trays. Bloggers are hassled by pets, spouses and kids. You know damned well what I mean. “When are you going to get away from that damned computer? Blah blah blah.†We should demand a clean and tidy place to blog, free from disturbances of any kind.
3. More Recognition. Face it. Ninety percent of the people in the United States don’t know what a blog is and don’t care to know what a blog is. Of the ten percent who know what a blog is, 90% don’t read or give two shits about blogs. We could all be “contendas.†We should demand recognition and respect, dammit (Think Fredo in “Godfather IIâ€).
4. Spam. Who among us hasn’t been tortured from time to time by the dreaded, lower-than-pond-scum spammer? Why should we tolerate this? We have our goddamned rights. It’s time we should demand that spammers be summarily executed.
5. Compensation. The pay really stinks. In fact, it stinks so bad that illegal immigrants want no part of the gig. We should demand a regular infusion of a bunch of moolah as compensation for our daily pearls of wisdom.
I know you’re thinking, â€Yo, Jimbo, I agree that we ought to demand all these things, but to whom should we make our demands?â€
DUH!! I can’t believe you’d have to ask. Obviously, George Bush. He’s responsible for hurricanes, hiccups, carbuncles, war, traffic jams, airplane crashes, body odor, famine, pestilence, death, destruction and most forms of tooth decay.
I SAY WE STRIKE!!!
I agree with you on most counts, but I did not give you permission to publish that photo of my working space. How dare you! You’ve no sense of decency!
Comment by Erica — November 13, 2007 @ 8:17 pm
… I am so completely downtown with this idear…… strike, dammit!….. I will be right there beside you…
Comment by Eric — November 13, 2007 @ 8:44 pm
Umm… I did this two months ago. It didn’t work.
Comment by dick — November 13, 2007 @ 9:54 pm
I’m in. I’ll get busy prepping the sharpened sticks for prodding naysayers and help protect our lack of integrity on the picket-line. Will also bring a case of Molson Golden…
Comment by Winston — November 14, 2007 @ 6:57 am
STRIKE? What are you, some kind of COMMIE? The next thing will probably be you calling for a bloggers union and wanting us to join the gotdam teamsters..if you wake up with an alligator in your front yard be assured it is not from me..it is from those American Auto Companies who are fighting strikes by rolling over for the UAW.
Comment by GUYK — November 14, 2007 @ 6:59 am
… speaking of gators, Mike Rowe had a whole show on some gator farm in Louisianna last night… I should have called you….
Comment by Eric — November 14, 2007 @ 7:35 am
I was watching that, too, Eric, and thinking the same thing. Especially when the dude was sexing the gators.
Comment by Craig — November 14, 2007 @ 8:46 am
very cool. i was pretty much on strike anyway. you’ve given my lackluster blahs direction.
oh, and can you write in some sort of chocolate ration in the working conditions? thanks.
Comment by supergurl — November 14, 2007 @ 12:31 pm
Comrades, I stand proudly with you in solidarity. Let’s make posters and hit the streets in protest. I will begin letting my armpit hair grow in anticipation of our multi-city rallies. We will need signs. With slogans. Get busy.
Comment by dogette — November 14, 2007 @ 1:02 pm
Screw recognition. 90% of America *does* know what Bachelor, Deal or No Deal, American Idol, Survivor, et al, are. Popularity doesn’t mean quality — just ask Britney and Pope Al.
Comment by Jon — November 15, 2007 @ 8:08 am
Strike? Oh that’s fancy. Why the hell didn’t you come up with this late last spring, when we could’ve enjoyed the summer off with perks, like, tendin’ to fires in trash cans and fishin’? Makin’ signs is womens work, unless it’s the finger, then it’s a mans job.
Please add “work from home” to your list of demands uncle Jimbo… I hate to have to go to work to do what I do. It ain’t fair. Damned W… Oh, that and a beer truck, restocked daily. It helps things flow around here. All bottles, and ban bottle openers, ’cause that’s an acquired skill that Cousin’ Marcus and I have come to appreciate. It has it’s worth.
Can he run again? I hope so. Hillary would probably give us all what we wanted, and blame republicans for it. Hey, isn’t congress on strike? If they are, I hadn’t noticed.
Comment by RedNeck — November 16, 2007 @ 7:17 pm