Unproductive Groundpound.
I stepped out the front door for this morning’s walk into a dreary and cold day. The temperature was a degree or two above freezing, but it was farookin’ damp. I hate that. I would rather walk in single digit temperatures with a clear sky and dry air. Still, I forged ahead, looking forward to letting my mind wander into the weird places where posts are often conceived.
It didn’t take long before I remembered that one cannot truly let one’s mind wander when there are sections of sidewalk that are covered with ice and a wandering mind can lead to a broken ass.
And that, dear hearts, is why I don’t have anything worth a damn to write about today.
Friggin’ ice.
Your lameass excuse might go over in Trenton, but I, for one, am not falling for it. Because there was ice on the ground, you “don’t have anything worth a damn to write about today”?
That’s as clever as the Simpsons episode when Homer was only able to sing opera when he was laying down on his back, strapped to a gurney.
And me, I can only write when I’m potchkering around in a tree, hanging upside down from a branch, so all the blood rushes to my head.
Not buyin’ it, Hairboy.
Comment by Erica — December 19, 2007 @ 9:09 pm
Buy thee some yaxtrax so you don’t fall on that ice. Then you can start thinking again. *grin*
Comment by Teresa — December 19, 2007 @ 9:12 pm
Better an empty post than a busted ass.
Comment by dick — December 19, 2007 @ 10:01 pm
Did you hurt your butt? And that blocks your thinking?
(p.s. your haiku is not showing up at Sparrow’s…?)
Comment by Jean — December 19, 2007 @ 10:01 pm
A broken ass? Ain’t none of us volunteering to kiss it and make it better…
Comment by Joan of Argghh! — December 19, 2007 @ 10:17 pm
These comments! Feel the love!
Comment by jck — December 19, 2007 @ 10:39 pm
I so wish you could turn on C-SPAN right now — you are missing Pure Nancy Gold! She looks like a Gucci Suppository in her tight little red suit.
She’s saying nasty stuff about the Prez, too! He signed a freakin’ energy bill today, and she’s just like “Well…but…he’s a dooshbag anyways.”
I should reformat my blog and just do live C-SPAN blogging. Good God! Harry Reid just said he regrets “having to agree with the White House.”
WTF???
Comment by Erica — December 19, 2007 @ 11:00 pm
So just how do you go about fixing a broken ass?
Comment by james old guy — December 20, 2007 @ 7:32 am
“She looks like a Gucci Suppository in her tight little red suit.”
That is totally priceless.
Oh. And one more thing. Global warming has something to do with all that ice and Jimbo’s writer’s block. Just open your eyes, people. Stop burying your heads in the sand. The evidence is all right there.
Comment by dogette — December 20, 2007 @ 8:03 am
sorries, but you’re right, triggered a memory you did. when i was 8 or 9, we were holed up at my grandparents farm in Turkey, Texas, cabin fever city. For some reason, to get the dog or something, i forgot the conditions outside and ran out the back door, hit a patch of ice and my legs flew out in front of me. i landed square on my back on the concrete steps. even at that indestructible age, it hurt, and doubt i will ever shake the fear that was born in me that day.
glad your walk was unproductive! better safe than sorry.
Comment by supergurl — December 20, 2007 @ 9:18 am
I find that as I get older, I appreciate the cold more. I also enjoy the blanket of a dreary overcast day. Surely an insight into my soul this is.
Comment by Sugar Britches — December 20, 2007 @ 10:03 am
Uppsy Daisy, Hairboy. Mr. Recliner fixed your broken tushie. You blog now!
Comment by Erica — December 20, 2007 @ 11:25 am
I can’t hear you; I have Matzoh Brei in my ears.
Jimbowitz
Comment by Jim — December 20, 2007 @ 12:01 pm
“I can’t hear you; I have Matzoh Brei in my ears.”
If it’s that hairy stuff you may never be able to hear again.
Comment by Teresa — December 20, 2007 @ 12:07 pm
Meanwhile stationed in Camp LivingRoom, USofA, we find USMC Drill Instructor Gunny Sergeant(Ret.)
R. Lee EMERY looking incredulously at his computer’s monitor…
What is that? WHAT THE F*CK IS THAT??!!! Poor little JIMBO has a case of the “LAMEASS”?! WANT MOMMIE TO BUY YOU SOME “YAXTRAX”, YOU F*CKIN PUKE?!
OH, WEASEL SH*T!!! NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME MAGGOT…I WILL PERSONALLY “RIP YOUR A$$ A NEW ONE”, IF YOU DON’T GET ON THAT KEYBOARD RIGHT NOW, MISTER!!! I WANT SOME JERSERY POLITICAL DIRT OR SOME PELOSI/HILLARY CHANNELING DONE A.S.A.P.!!! YOU HEAR ME, SPOOGE BUCKET??!!!
Your D.I. for Lifes Little Problems,
Gunny R. Lee Emery
P.S. Stay away from “Yaxtrax”! JihadGene smoked that sh*t, and he ain’t right!
Comment by JihadGene — December 20, 2007 @ 12:46 pm