Rahm’s Phone.
PRS Operatives (Ya gotta love ‘em) have managed to plant a listening device on Rahm Emmanuel’s telephone. Pretty salty, that guy. We caught a telephone call he made to Vice President-elect Joe Biden:
RINNNNNNNNG
Biden: Hello. This is the Vice President-elect speaking.
Rahm: Rahm Emmanuel here. What’s with this f**king “Vice President-elect†shit?
Biden: Well, I am the Vice President-elect, Rahm.
Rahm: First of all, it’s “Mr. Emmanuel†to you. And to me, you will always be a f**king asshole, JOE. Second, I’m calling to find out just who the f**k you f**king think you are, you f**k!
Biden: What are you talking about Ra — I mean, Mr. Emmanuel?
Rahm: You dumb bastard. You f**king know exactly what I’m f**king talking about.
Biden: Honestly, I don’t.
Rahm: Well then I’ll f**king tell you, moron. You went into the President-elect’s office yesterday without checking with me? I ought to cut your f**king nuts off!
Biden: Wait a minute. He said that we would be meeting every day on very important matters. He said so many times during the campaign.
Rahm: How the f**k long have you been in f**king politics, JOE?
Biden: I have been in politics more than 36 years, which I might add is a helluva lot longer than you.
Rahm: Don’t f**king get wise with me, jerkoff. You’ve been in f**king politics 36 f**king years and you actually believed that shit Barack said during the campaign? Jesus, you are one dumbass motherf**ker. You think you’re going to be able to just waltz your sorry f**king ass into the Oval Office whenever you f**king feel like? I am the f**king Chief of f**king Staff. Nof**kingbody gets to see the President-f**king-elect without f**king going through me, least of all some f**king Delaware douchbag senator.
Biden: I’m confused. He said just yesterday that he had made time on his calendar every morning for a meeting.
Rahm: Moron, were you paying attention when he told you that he was granting you two motherf**king minutes? I guess you weren’t, probably because, as usual, your f**king hair-plugged f**king head was up your f**king ass! Guess who he called as soon as your sorry ass was out of his f**king office? Can you guess, jerkoff?
Biden: Sure sounds like he called you.
Rahm: Right! You win the mother**king kewpie doll! From here on, you stay the f**k away from the motherf**king President-elect, unless you check with me first. In fact, don’t bother even checking, because I can tell you right f**king now that he wants no part of your rambling f**king bullshit.
Biden: Well, what will be my role in the administration, RAHM?
Rahm: I warned you once about that “Rahm†shit. Keep it up and I’ll f**k you royally.
Biden: OK, so what is my role, Mr. Emmanuel?
Rahm: Your role is to do whatever the f**k I f**king tell you to f**king do and to say exactly what I f**king tell you to f**king say. I don’t want you f**king making shit up as you f**king go along. You’ve proved that you have shit for brains, and you f**king say stupid f**king shit every time you f**king open your f**king mouth.
Biden:
Rahm: Here is your assignment for tomorrow, asshole. You are to attend the funeral of some f**king councilman in some f**king Illinois shithole.
Biden: A funeral of a councilman?
Rahm: Oh, so you’re not only f**king stupid as a sack of boils, you’re also f**king deaf?
Biden: OK, who is the councilman, and where is the town?
Rahm: I don’t f**king know. All I know is that he ponied up a shitload of cash for the campaign, and the f**king sorry ass died before he could collect on his end. Someone on my f**king staff with call you with the f**king details.
Biden: OK, I’ll wait for the call.
Rahm: Oh, and JOE, one more f**king thing.
Biden: What’s that?
Rahm: Take the f**king train. Stupid f**king voters eat that shit up.
Biden: Hell, that’s a pretty long train ri —
click
It’s a good thing that Rahm (I mean, Mr. Emmanuel) is has such an even temprament. Someone more mercurial might accidentally offend people, or something.
Comment by DMerriman — January 11, 2009 @ 4:07 pm
F***ing A
Comment by Sam — January 11, 2009 @ 6:36 pm
Nice potty mouth for a ballet dancer.
Comment by Cappy — January 11, 2009 @ 8:59 pm
I could see this being acted out by Al Pacino and Jack Lemmon…it has a certain Glengarry Glen Ross feel to it. I’ve no doubt life will imitate art come 1/20/09. Heaven help us all.
Comment by Erica — January 11, 2009 @ 10:12 pm
Heh, I hope that this turns out to be a true event! One commie making decisions in the White House is enough.
Comment by GUYK — January 12, 2009 @ 6:10 pm
Heh. 🙂
Comment by Richmond — January 12, 2009 @ 6:21 pm