I will be away on a bit of a business trip from Wednesday through Friday. This will be the first time that I will be bringing a laptop with me. I normally don’t DO laptop. I rather hate the damned thing.

For openers, the little, nipple-like widget in the middle of the keyboard that is supposed to be the mouse makes me crazy. Try as I might, the little arrow on the screen goes where it damned well pleases. However, I can avoid using the quasi-nipple mouse, because the laptop I will be sporting also has the Magic Slate (are you old enough to know that that is?) type mouse-thing, where you move your finger across a little matchbook-sized piece of plastic to move the cursor. The problem is that I hate that too.

Of course all my mouse bitching will be academic if I cannot figure out how to set the damned thing up (i.e. which wire goes where and all that shit) after I have had a couple cocktails. Assuming I can figure out what plugs in where, I then have to remember a fistful of passwords to dial up and log on.

Assuming that I can set the damned thing up and can remember the damned passwords through an alcohol-induced miasma, I still have to figure out the “working-online” vs. the “working-offline” and synchronizing crapola. Of course, all of the foregoing presumes that I will have any time at all to screw around with dumbass laptop, when I could be drinking.

Finally, assuming that I can set it all up, remember all the passwords, figure out how to “work-offline,” sort out all the synchronizing shit, and that I have time to dork around with it, I still may not have anything worth a shit to say.

Bottom line. I may be offline until Friday night or Saturday. If that happens, you’ll know that Jimbo and Mister Laptop had a falling out, in which case I direct you to Mister Blogroll, paying particular attention to: Twisty, Cousin Jack, Rita, mtpolitics, Sgt. Hook, Da Goddess, Zombyboy, and Acidman.

There may be a quiz.

Later.