Well, now that the election is over, I suppose I should remove the two campaign buttons on the sidebar. I don’t want them to become the cyber-equivalent of a faded, old bumper sticker from a campaign long ago concluded.

However, if you recall the pain I experienced getting the first button up there and functioning, you know why I quake with fear at the thought of again tangling ass with Mr. Template. My bowels loosen each time that blast of HTML lights up on my screen.

I actually hear it mocking me for my incompetence.

Mr. Template: “Come on, Jimbo. You want a piece of me? Let’s see what you got.”

Me:

Mr. Template: “Oooohhh, tough guy. I see you’re pasting a copy of me into a Word document. You don’t have a hair on your ass if you don’t just dive in and start changing shit, you sissy boy.”

Me:

Mr. Template: “Waddya gonna do now? Print it out and study it as if you were planning a freakin’ moon shot? You are pathetic.”

Me:

Mr. Template: “Let’s go Chickie Chickie. It’s easy. A little “div class” here, a little “div class” there, and some well-place quotation marks. It’s a snap for anybody who’s not a chicken shit like you. Just don’t drop your guard, or I’ll turn this place into something that looks like the Rosetta Stone.”

Me: “Will you shut the hell up! I’m trying to concentrate here.”

Mr. Template: “Concentrate all you want, dipshit. You got nuthin’.”

Me: “Screw you. I’m gonna do this tomorrow.”

Mr. Template: “Works every time.”