By now, you surely have read about the United States Congressman Donald Payne’s plane barely having left the airport in Somalia before mortar rounds landed on the airport’s runway. Donald Payne represents New Jersey’s 10th congressional district. Yes, that makes him “my” congressman.

You probably read or heard that he is the Chairman of the racially exclusionary club known as the Congressional Black Caucus. He has served in Congress for more than twenty years, and he probably will have the “job” for life, as during the last few congressional elections, he has run unopposed. (In the 2008 presidential election the 10th congressional district went 87% to 13% in favor of Barack Obama.)

What the newspapers and electronic media didn’t tell you is that Donald Payne is positively useless as a representative and that he spends far more time worrying about the conditions in lawless shitholes like Somalia than he does about the conditions of the lawless shitholes in his own congressional district.

Take, for example, the Township of Irvington. Once a beautiful town, made vibrant by the pride that largely blue collar workers took in maintaining their hard-earned homes. The township boasted a thriving business center and a beautiful park.

Now, it has the look and feel of Mogadishu, except that in Irvington only the bad guys are armed. A former corrupt mayor was forced out of office, and crime is so rampant that State Troopers have been enlisted to patrol the streets. Indeed, as of 2007, Irvington had the highest violent crime rate of the New Jersey’s 15 major urban areas (Link). Gangs? You bet.

I, therefore, submit that, in the future, if Mr. Payne is intent on visiting rotting, corrupt, crime-ridden, hell holes, he need not set one foot outside his congressional district.

The good news for Mr. Payne is that the criminals in Irvington don’t have mortars. Yet.

Update: Linked by Doug Ross. Thanks!

I wish I could say that this is a gag, but it’s not. It’s a video prepared for the faculty at Penn State University. The message in this video, which deals with (in the mind of the instructor) a belligerent student, could easily apply to any number of types of students, but veterans have been singled out. Pretty goddamned sickening.

I’ll shut up now and let the video speak for itself.

Via Doug Ross

Economy got you down? Politics making you crazed?

Need a breather?

These absolutely amazing 4th, 5th, and 6th grade girls will put a smile on your face.

I guarantee it.

Thanks to reader, Dick, for the link.

Shut up!

I am sorely pissed.

I had my tax return prepared yesterday, and, as usual, I will be writing a sizeable check to the United States Treasury, the proceeds of which will immediately be sucked into the gaping federal rat hole created by the rogues in Washington.

While still fuming over the amount of tribute I am forced to pay to the government, I received a call from a young fellow from the Republican National Committee who asked me whether I would be “renewing” my membership (i.e. sending money) in the Republican Party.

The guy picked a bad night to call.

I began by saying that he sounded like a perfectly fine guy, but that I would consider “renewing” my membership when I see more Republicans in Washington develop “something resembling a spine and vocally oppose the crap that is going on in Washington now.” I stated that they could set an example by not seeking earmarks and voting against any other legislator’s earmarks. I added that they should all re-read the Constitution (assuming they’ve ever read it in the first place) and legislate accordingly.

After a pause (The guy’s surely was figuring, “Damn, I caught the nutbar.”), the fellow dutifully continued reading his script, which consisted of a litany of broad conservative principles. I interrputed his speech, noting that I already know the conservative principles and that I would “renew” my membership (i.e. send money) when I see Republicans actually acting on those principles.

I thanked him for his call. After all, it’s not his fault that the Democrats are dismantling the country and the Republicans are just standing around and watching it happen.

Great stuff. Listen and watch.

Thanks to Willie, the Guitar Guy.

Yes, that’s what Branford Marsalis (brother of Wynton, the Trumpetmeister) has to say.

Word.

Thanks to my buddy Mike the Computer Maven, who found it here.

No, really!

Maybe he figured out how to chew through beer cans.

Snagged from Hammer’s excellent site.

This is the probably the most violated law in New Jersey, with the exception of the laws against bribery and corruption.

I recall finding myself in Los Angeles twenty or so (gack!) years ago, and I was positively astounded by the courtesy of the city’s motorists all of whom stopped as I stood on the curb by a crosswalk and waited for me to cross. I smiled and waved thank-you to every one of them. A few days into the trip, one of the locals informed me that the drivers weren’t being nice; they were simply obeying the law.

In New Jersey, yield to pedestrians in a crosswalk? Ha! Don’t count on it. Any time you step into a street (without a traffic light) around here, you have to do the instamath:

How far is it to the other side”

Do I plan on running, walking briskly or strolling?

How far away is the nearest vehicle?

What is its estimated speed?

Where is the approximate “Death Zone” in the street?

Given the foregoing, can I make it across the “Death Zone?”

It is important to remember that when doing the instamath, you must assume that the oncoming vehicle’s speed will remain constant. Never, ever assume that the driver will slow down upon seeing you in the street. Staying out of the “Death Zone” is strictly up to the pedestrian.

As a result of the widespread violation of, or ignorance of the law and far too many people being turned into Road Pizza, some towns, such as mine, have taken to placing signs such as the one shown above in busy intersections. As you can see, the one above (photographed during today’s groundpound) has been taken down and deposited onto the sidewalk. ”We don’t need no steeeenkin’ signs.”

Life in the Garden State: Adventureland.