WTFudoku?

How could this possibly be fun?

To me, it’s akin to a mental paper cut.

A word of advice to you karaoke peeps, particularly if you are planning to do your thing in Asia.

DO NOT HOG THE MICROPHONE!

In addition, you would also be well advised to avoid singing “My Way” or anything by John Denver.

You’re welcome.

A combination of Life 101 and Making-a-Living 101 has sapped any creative juices I may have had. Sorry ’bout that.

Hey, OJ is going to spend some serious time in the slammer, which proves that even the worst day has the potential for some serious WIN.

Later.

Poor John.

If you’re Kerry, you’ve got to be feeling a bit like the Rev. Jeremiah Wright – thrown under the Obama bus, while ex-rivals climb merrily aboard.
…
[S]oon after Election Day, Kerry went from being an alleged top contender for a Cabinet position to nowhere.

The sorry ass, D-student will have to settle for being the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.

I’d love to see how long this pompous blowhard would last in a real job.

Well, sports fans. It was either hanging out with friends in a Spanish restaurant, eating chorizo and drinking Spanish beer, or sitting in front of this computer and writing silly shit.

The friends, chorizo and beer won.

Come to think of it, so did you.

Later, amigos.

Millions of people watched Barbara Walters swoon over President-Elect Obama. Apparently, the producers of the show decided that portions of the interview should not be televised. Fortunately, PRS Operatives managed to obtain those omitted portions. They appear following Ms. Walters’ interview of President-Elect Obama.

Intro: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I am bwoadcasting tonight from the Office of the Pwesident-Elect. My vewy special guest, or I should say, guests tonight are Pwesident-Elect Obama and his lovely wife Michelle Obama.

BW: Good evening Mr. Pwesident-Elect. It’s an honor to meet you.

BHO: My pleasure, Barbara. Please call me Barack.

BW: Oh my, how gwacious of you! OK, then “Bawack” it is!

[snip]
BW: Duwing the campaign, you were cwiticized by wepublicans for lacking foweign policy cwedentials. How do you wespond to those cwiticisms now that you’ve won the election?

BHO: Typical right-wing bullshit is what it was. They can kiss my black ass!

BW: Maybe we should take a bweak now. Stop the tape.

BHO: Good. I need a goddamned smoke.
[snip]

[snip]
BW: Tell me, Bawack. If you were a can of soup, what kind of soup would you be?

BHO: Are you shitting me?

BW: Stop the tape. No, I’m sewious, Bawack. Your opposition says that no one weally knows much about you, and I feel that this question is both entertaining and wevealing.

BHO: OK. If you say so.

BW: Roll tape. Tell me, Bawack. If you were a can of soup, what kind of soup would you be?

BHO: Fascinating question, Barbara. I believe I would be a can of black bean soup.

BW: Intewesting answer, but some might say that you are playing the wace card with that answer.

BHO: Damn, you sure are one dumbass white woman.

BW: I think it’s time for another bweak.
[snip]

[snip]
BW: Michelle, let’s turn to you. I often hear it said that you are particularly well gwounded. Would you agwee with that assessment?

MO: That is most flattering, Barbara. Thank you. I suppose it is true. I think it is important to keep things in proper perspective and not to be carried away with a celebrity thing.

BW: Actually, when I spoke of your being well gwounded, I was wefewwing to your wather large feet.

MO: My feet? How’d you like me to come up side yo head, bitch?

BW: I think another bweak is in order.
[snip]

[snip]
BW: Back to you, Bawack. Duwing the campaign, and even now, people have compared you to Jesus Chwist and Pwesident Lincoln. Is that a fair compawison?

BHO: No, it’s not fair, because people should be comparing them to me.

BW: Are you saying that you’re gweater than Jesus Chwist or Pwesident Lincoln? Isn’t that a bit of a stwetch?

BHO: Not really. You see, the problem those guys had is that they didn’t know how to use a computer.

BW: But, Bawack. There were no computers when Jesus Chwist and Pwesident Lincoln were alive.

BHO: Sucks to be them. How much longer is this shit gonna take? I need another smoke.
[snip]

I would like to share a word or two about my illustrious Waste-of-Space Congressman.

Two days after recent election, while the average slob was dragging his ass to work, wondering how he will pay his taxes, six members of the Congressional Black Caucus, along with three New York City officials and New York State Governor Paterson (no doubt fresh from attending victory parties), took time away from their busy schedules to fly off to the luxurious Sonesta Maho Beach Resort and Casino in St. Martaan, to spend four days attending the 13th annual Caribbean Multi-National Business Conference. Among those attending were Harlem Congressman Charles Rangel and my own illustrious Waste-of-Space Congressman Donald Payne.

The event, the stated purpose of which is, “promoting business relationships between some of America’s largest firms and the Caribbean’s most successful enterprises,” was sponsored by several large corporations, including IBM, AT&T, Verizon, Pfizer, Macy’s, American Airlines and Citigroup, Citigroup having recently received a big-ticket taxpayer funded bailout. The attendees were wined and dined by representatives of the corporate sponsors and by company-paid lobbyists.

While some attendees appear to have funded the trip themselves (From their congressional budgets? From their own pockets? Feh!), others, including my illustrious Waste-of-Space Congressman, had his airfare and lodging paid for.

The problem with this is that junkets such as this almost certainly violate House Ethics Rules, which forbid the acceptance of any multi-day trip that is sponsored by an organization that employs lobbyists. Representatives are supposed to complete a disclosure form with respect to attending events such as this, and the only person who submitted the requisite form was my illustrious Waste-of-Space Congressman. The problem is that the form submitted by Congressman Payne didn’t disclose the identity of any of the corporations that provided funds to run the event.

According to the filing submitted by Payne, a Democrat who represents northern New Jersey, his airfare, meals and lodging were paid for by Carib News, which spent up to $1,000 per participant.

But Payne’s disclosure didn’t list any of the corporations that gave money to Carib News[***] for the trip, even though their banners were prominently displayed behind a podium in the conference room of the hotel, listed on the glossy program and visible on items inside a Macy’s gift bag distributed to participants.

Payne checked the “No” box next to the question on whether the travel was being sponsored by “an entity that employs a lobbyist.” If Payne had disclosed the corporate sponsors, the trip might not have been permitted by the House Ethics Committee.

Kerry McKenney, a spokeswoman for Payne, told The Post: “It was our understanding that the trip was sponsored by the Carib News Foundation. We are unaware of any corporate sponsors.”

The screaming arrogance of these sumbitches slays me, but, in the case of Donald Payne, it doesn’t surprise me. Why should he worry one whit about what his constituents think, when last month he was again elected, without opposition? New Jersey Republicans know that running against Donald Payne in his gerrymandered district is a waste of time.

Then there is Charlie Rangel, who never passes up an opportunity to rub his constituents’ noses in the dirt and, like New Jersey voters, they eat it up and, every two years vote for more of the same.

The One campaigned relentlessly on the promise to curb the influence of eeeevil corporate lobbyists in Washington. Assuming he really meant it (Yeah, I know), I suggest that a good place for him to start would be by having a word or two with the Congressional Black Caucus.

I’m sure he’ll get right on that.

***The Carib News Foundation claims to be a non-profit organization, which can lawfully sponsor such trips, but, according to an IRS representative, as reported by the New York Post, there is no record of the Carib News Foundation being such an entity. It appears to be a slapdash attempt to evade the ethics rules.

h/t lawhawk

Sleet has prevented me from keeping a promise to put up the outside Christmas lights. No, I don’t do roof — just a couple big bushes.

See? Even sleet can be a good thing sometimes.

1. On Thanksgiving evening it occurred to me that one way to significantly reduce one particular greenhouse gas would be to ban the sale of turnips. Someone call Al Gore.

2. Wouldn’t be an absolute riot if, after all the hoopla and drama surrounding Obama’s choice of Hillary as Secretary of State, he finally made the long-awaited public announcement, and she responded with a shireking, “Me? Work for you? Are you out of your goddamned mind?”

3. I missed Rosie O’Donnell’s variety show and Barbara Walters interview of Barack and Michelle Obama on Wednesday. I also wasn’t hit in the head with a bag of snot or buried alive on Wednesday. Definitely my lucky day.

4. Have you ordered yours yet? I’m partial to to the ten-inch gold and maroon (yes, “maroon” unit). I also could help but notice the last six letters of the the item number.

5. Wouldn’t it be cool to watch Tom Brokaw try to say “parallelogram” three times, real fast? It would be wise to have an EMT standing by to extricate his swalllllllowed tongue before he turned blue.

Because this year Thanksgiving fell on November 27th, it overshadowed a truly important and unmentioned event.

OK, I lied about the “important” thing.

You see, as of yesterday, this blog turned six years old. Who’d a thunk it?

I have written a few entries shy of 2,500, far fewer than written by many bloggers, but far greater than any number I would have imagined six years ago. I’d go on and on about why I take the time to write the silly stuff I do, but there is nothing quite as boring as reading the drivel of a blogger on the subject of blogging.

Let me just say that the best thing that has come of this exercise are the people I have come to know, both in the cyber-world and in, as they say, the “meat world.” Many will be friends for life, for sure.

Beyond that, I can only offer my heartfelt thanks for taking a piece of your valuable time to stick your head in the door of the House by the Parkway. It continues to amaze and humble me.

Onward.