June 11, 2009

Mayo-not.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:17 pm

Not being a culinary swashbuckler (unlike my friend Elisson, who has partaken of all sorts of horribles, including whale meat), I don’t normally dispense food advice. However, I learned yesterday that the way to absolutely ruin a beautiful piece of chicken all cut up and ready to become chicken salad is to use Hellmann’s Low Fat Mayonnaise.

In a word, BLECCHHH. One taste and the bowl of chicken salad went directly in the trash without passing Go.

Moral: Beware the green lid. If it’s not Hellmann’s Real Mayonnaise, don’t bother.

That is all.

June 10, 2009

A Trip to the Verizon Store

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:58 pm

cell-phone-nokiaI accompanied Mrs. Parkway to the Verizon store for her purchase of a new cell phone. Her current phone has been a piece of crap from day one. Often, to get the damned thing even to turn on, you had to remove and reinsert the battery. Lately, it would hold a charge for about an hour. A new phone was definitely in order.

I was there merely for moral support but more importantly as the “account holder,” for without my presence, nothing can happen. Verizon is quirky that way, but it would a pain in the ass to set up two totally separate accounts, and one can only spend so much time in a phone store without risking a hypertensive crisis..

Anyway, she picked out a very nice, serviceable phone, with a minimum of doodads and without any meddling on my part (see above photo). Besides, Verizon doesn’t offer a phone with a doodad that I think would be very useful for her. That would be a phone with a doodad on it that would remind her to turn the farookin’ thing on.

June 9, 2009

Supply Sergeantspeak.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 10:15 pm

If you’ve ever been to an Army Supply Room (I suspect it’s no different in any other branch of service) and dealt with a Supply Sergeant, you know that they have a very matter-of-fact way to describe things. For instance, consider an ash tray.

ash-tray
The Army describes this as “tray, ash, 1 ea.” The curious language strips away all the frills and gets right down to the basics.

I got to thinking about how an Army Supply Sergeant would describe certain people:

bill-maher
head, dick, 1ea.

chris-dodd
shitter, bull, 1 ea.

david-letterman
off, jerk, 1 ea.

jon-stewart
bag, douche, 1 ea.

joy-behar
mouth, loud, 1 ea.

john-murtha
bastard, rat, 1 ea.

bernie-madoff
bag, scum, 1 ea.

barney-frank
stain, shit, 1 ea.

joe-biden2
brains, shitfor, 1 ea.

al-gore2
bag, gas, 1 ea.

al-sharpton
feeder, bottom, 1 ea.

harry-reid
suit, empty, 1 ea.

keith-olbermann
hole, ass, 1 ea.

nancy-close
tox, bo, 1 ea.

obama-hands-together
One, The, 1 ea.

June 8, 2009

The 2012 Pelosi GTxi SS/RT Sport Edition.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:25 pm

I suspect this gem from Iowahawk is making the rounds on the web, but this is one you shouldn’t miss.

Thanks to reader, Dick, for the tip.

June 7, 2009

Sunnnnnday.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 1:02 pm

The weather is way too nice today to spend time sitting in front of a computer.

Maybe later, Peeps.

June 6, 2009

65 Years Ago.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 11:50 am

d-day2

Sixty-five years ago today, American, British and Canadian forces landed on the beaches of Normandy, marking the beginning of the end of the war in Europe. Let us never forget the thousands who died on those beaches that day and elsewhere in Europe in the ensuing months.

They died for you and me.

Update: I received an email from a friend today, a portion of which I would like to share. My friend wrote, “I went to the local Pathmark [supermarket] this morning, and an elderly gentleman had on his navy hat from WWII. I shook his hand and thanked him for his service. He cried saying thank you.”

June 5, 2009

Jon Bon Jovi: Too Busy.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:55 pm

jon-bon-jovi2Last night, New Jersey resident Jon Bon Jovi managed to fit into his schedule a fundraiser concert for our gazillionaire governor Jon *spit* Corzine. Last year, he hosted a fundraising dinner at his home for The One, as he did for John Kerry in 2004. He has also managed to find time to play a concert to help Hillary retire some of her campaign debt.

Unfortunately, his schedule didn’t permit him to squeeze in a bit of time to play at a parade and celebration to be held in Trenton to welcome home 2,900 of New Jersey’s National Guard soldiers returning from Iraq.

What a swell guy.

Thanks to Kate for the tip and the link. Check out Kate’s article in NJ.Com.

June 4, 2009

The Media Slobbergasm Notwithstanding ….

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:21 pm

Just when I thought The One couldn’t possibly be a more horrible President, he proved me wrong.

The man scares me to death, although I would be even more frightened if I were a citizen of Israel.

What the hell has happened to this country?

June 3, 2009

Corzine vs. Christie — Game On.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 10:10 pm

Much as I thought would happen, Chris Christie defeated Steve Lonegan in the Republican Primary yesterday. As I noted yesterday, I favored Lonegan, but Christie would be light years better than Jon Corzine. Hell, Bugs Bunny would be better.

Corzine has already launched his first salvo. He charged that “he would work better with the Obama administration and Republican opponent Chris Christie is not ‘in alignment’ with New Jersey voters’ values.”

His own record is so piss-poor that he has apparently decided to hitch his wagon to The One in hopes that the sheeple who turned out in droves to participate in the “historic moment” will turn out in November for him. As for “working better with the Obama Administration,” I would prefer a governor who would tell the Administration to piss off, particularly if it comes to taking federal dollars and surrendering whatever state sovereignty we have left to the federal government.

With respect to New Jersey voters’ values, the overriding concern of most Garden Staters that I run into is paying the murderous taxes and worrying about whether they will continue to have a job, given regulatory burdens placed on businesses, which are causing them to flee the state.

Some of Corzine’s shtick is downright laughable. He said, “We must choose to put aside partisanship in favor of results… . There is simply no time left to waste on the politics of yesterday.” Put partisanship aside? Are you kidding me? He’s counting on the partisanship of the average New Jersey voter. In addition, I’m not surprised that he doesn’t want to focus on the “politics of yesterday,” because his rotten performance as governor is the “politics of yesterday.”

To me, the funniest and most pathetic thing about Corzine’s first shot at Christie was when he linked him to George Bush. Yo, Jon. Have you been following the news? George Bush is no longer the president.

I truly hope that Corzine loses and loses big — and in a sane world, he would be clobbered, but this is New Jersey. I’ve lived here all my life, and I know the way things work. Corzine will pump millions of his own money into the campaign (as he did to win his U.S. Senate seat and the governorship), and the monster democrat machine along with the public employee unions will go into Maximum Destruct Mode.

I’m not looking forward to the campaign.

The JerseyNut has more.

June 2, 2009

New Jersey Primary.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 5:32 pm

Jersey is holding its primary elections today. In the Democrat Primary, Jon Corzine, our illustrious ueberliberal, super rich, failed Goldman Sachs executive, weenie, spendocrat governor is running against three people who have about as much chance of getting the nomination as I do of getting hit in the head with a piece of space junk while walking down the street carrying a can of plaid paint in my back pocket.

The candidates in the Republican Primary are Chris Christie, a former federal prosecutor with an admirable record of getting convictions of corrupt Jersey politicians (of both parties), which is a very good thing. He is opposed by Steve Lonegan (LON-i-gan), the former Mayor of the town of Bogota (Bah-GO-tah).

Being one of the ten or twelve Republicans in my town (It sure seems that way), I had to pick between Christie and Lonegan, either of whom would be preferable to the current sorry ass. Both make lower tax and “clean up Trenton” promises, and the extent to which either of them can accomplish that, if elected, is a crapshoot. Christie, as noted, was a wonderful prosecutor, but he lacks executive experience. Lonegan, by contrast, was a three-term mayor.

Lonegan is clearly the more conservative of the two, and the conventional wisdom is that Christie has a better chance of beating Corzine and the democrat machine in the general election. So, as was the case in November, I had to choose between the candidate I prefer (Lonegan) and the candidate who is more likely to beat the democrat in November (Christie).

Ultimately, I came down on the side of Lonegan. Lonegan is more the anti-Trenton renegade, while Christie enjoys the backing of the political establishment. Given that my view is that every incumbent politician (both parties) in Trenton should be voted out of office (They’re all part of the problem), I went for the stronger anti-Trenton, more conservative candidate. I’m tired of voting for the guy who is “more likely to win in November” over a candidate I prefer, because that approach ultimately begat The One.

If Lonegan wins, fine. Let’s see in November how sick of the Trenton Political Swamp the voters in the state really are. If Christie wins, that’s fine too, because he will be infinitely better than the jackass currently in office.

Even if Lonegan loses, I hope he draws a big enough vote to push Christie further to the right and to get the attention of the democrat swine in Trenton who act as if they govern by Divine Right.

No matter who wins, I guarantee the November election will be ugly.

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