Military Wisdom/Common Sense Rules

A colleague sent this to me via e-mail. I have not verified the accuracy of the quotes or their attribution. Whether true or not, they are funny.

1. “Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.” (Paul Rodriguez)

2. “A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit” – (Army’s Magazine of Preventive Maintenance).

3. “Aim towards the Enemy” – (Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher) [I know that this legend appears on the business-side of a Claymore Mine – J]

4. “When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.” (U.S. MarineCorps)

5. “Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.” (U.S. Air Force)

6. “If the enemy is in range, so are you.” (Infantry Journal)

7. “It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.” (U.S. Air Force Manual)

8. “Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.” (Gen. MacArthur)

9. “Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.” (Infantry Journal)

10. “You, you, and you . . . Panic. The rest of you, come with me. (U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.)

11. “Tracers work both ways.” (U.S. Army Ordnance Manual)

12. “Five second fuses only last three seconds.” (Infantry Journal.)

13. “Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last, and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.” (U. S Navy Swabbie)

14. “Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.” (David Hackworth)

15. “If your attack is going too well, you have walked into an ambush.” (Infantry Journal)

16. “No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.” (Joe Gay)

17. “Any ship can be a minesweeper … .. . once.” (Admiral Hornblower)

18. “Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.” (Unknown Marine Recruit)

19. “Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.” (Your Buddies.)

20. “Mines are equal opportunity weapons.” (Saddam Hussein)

21. “If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn’t plan your mission
properly.” (David Hackworth)