Did you ever play Wiffle®Ball? Unless I’m mistaken, most of you probably have. After all, the plastic ball, half of which is perforated with oblong holes, has been around for fifty years, as has been the game itself. Playing Wiffle Ball doesn’t require a stadium (a back yard will do). It also doesn’t require nine people per team (one person per team will do). And, the base runners are imaginary. And finally, with Wiffle Ball, no neighbors end up with broken windows.

I can recall summers when it seemed as if the Wiffle Ball game began in June and ended on Labor Day. Because of its curious construction, the history of which can be found here, the Wiffle Ball permits just about everyone can throw curves like a major leaguer. It was great fun.

I think I gave up Wiffle Ball playing about the same time I discovered girls. Until recently, I had assumed that only kids play Wiffle Ball.

Wrong.

I have since learned that grownups play some serious Wiffle Ball. In fact, I was particularly surprised to learn that New Jersey boasts the “New Jersey Wiffle Ball Association,” and that in 1995, 1996 and 1997, the Trenton Giants won the title of the “Number One Wiffle Ball Team in the World” (fast pitch competition). Grownup Wiffle Ball Leagues exist in several other states and also in some foreign countries. Who knew?

I think it’s high time that Wiffle Ball becomes an Olympic event. Write your congressional representatives and Roone Arledge.

As for me, my Wiffle Ball days are over. I think I’ll stick with horseshoes and beer. I do, however, wonder if anyone makes plastic horseshoes with oblong holes in them.

Note: “Wiffle” is a registered Trademark of The Wiffle Ball Inc.

I laughed out loud at this one.