I sure wish that some of the technological innovation that has given us enormously powerful computers, teeny-weeny cell phones and widgets that magically “hold” a couple thousand songs would be turned toward spiffing up the simple clock radio.

It would be nice if someone would design and manufacture a clock radio with the following features:

I would like a clock radio that would permit the user to pre-set two different volume levels. This way, one could pre-set the radio to play at a low volume in the evening and a “wake-up” volume in the morning.

I would like to be able to pre-set one station as a “go-to-sleep” station and another station as a “wake-up” station. I have listened to Imus in the Morning since the 70’s, but the balance of the programming on WFAN is sports talk. I would rather have ice picks driven in my ears than listen to sports talk. With an improved design, I would be able to listen to music in the evening and still wake up to Imus. (Sorry, I think Howard Stern stinks.)

I would also like a clock radio that automatically defaults to “no alarm” on the weekends. Having to deal with a morning radio show unnecessarily rattling one’s brains early on a Saturday morning (particularly after having a few cocktails on Friday night) is just wrong.

Finally, I would like the clock radio to be simple enough to operate so that one would only have to take a quick read through a half page of instructions in order to operate the additional features I have mentioned. Contrast this with my itsy-bitsy cell phone that comes with instructions that resemble a mini-Manhattan phone directory.

If anyone knows if such a unit exists, please let me know. If not, I’ll just hum a couple verses of “The Impossible Dream” and go about my farookin’ business.

That is all.