Spare us your grandstanding bullshit, and save your “Perry Mason” performance for Law and Order fans and first-year law students.

Honestly overheard at the 7-11 this morning – A conversation between two twenty-something vocational school students who had driven to the 7-11 during what I assume was their morning break from classes.

Student No. 1 (S-1): “Man, I am on his [the instructor’s] Shit List.”

Student No. 2 (S-2) “You’re on his Shit List? Why zat?”

S-1: “He said it was because I caught an attitude.”

S-2: “Caught an attitude? What zat about?”

S-1: “I dunno, man. I just catch an attitude. You know what I’m sayin’?”

S-2: “What choo mean you caught an attitude?”

S-1: “I dunno, man. I just caught me an attitude.”

S-2: “Why?”

S-1: “I dunno, man. Sometimes I just catch an attitude. I dunno why. Like he comes into class yesterday morning and says “Wassup?” and I say ‘Fuck you.’ I dunno why. I jus’ say ‘Fuck you.’”

I left the store thinking that the guy should immediately apply to Berkeley. He could probably get a scholarship.