I suspect that you all have heard the OnStar radio commercials, which feature real-time recordings of OnStar subscribers having their car doors unlocked remotely and having OnStar call police in the event of an accident “with air bag deployment.” These are compelling stories and effective (I assume) advertisements.

Well, here is a real (Honest injun) story about an OnStar subscriber (or a subscriber to a similar service), whom I know.

This fellow, who we will call “Pete,” is a subscriber. One day he stopped for a rather ample businessman’s lunch. After leaving the restaurant, he hopped into the car and headed off to his next appointment. Apparently, one of the features of this (or a similar) service is voice-activated-dialing, where, as instructed by a computer-generated voice, the driver speaks the numbers to be dialed, and the software dials the number, hands-free.

So, ol’ Pete, quite full from lunch, was cruising down the road, and he decided to check in with his office. He began to slowly and distinctly recite the number to be dialed. “Nine…seven…three, …four….” And, at that moment, the lunch caught up with him and he cut a bone shattering fart BRRRRRAAAAAAACCCCKKKK.

The OnStar electronic voice responded, “Pardon?”

Ain’t technology grand?