Take a shot at flying a helicopter. It’s not one of those games that requires reading long instructions, and it can be played with only the left mouse button. In other words, my kinda game.

It did, however, drive me nuts after about four minutes.

Thanks, I think, to my friend Brian, the Air Force Vet.

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about a small bridal shop in town that had a hand-lettered sign in the window that said, “Shoe Only $10.00.” I can only assume that the shopkeeper managed to sell the shoe, or that he or she gave up trying, because yesterday I noticed that the “Shoe” sign had been replaced with a new hand-lettered sign that reads:

BIG SALE
BRIDESMATES
MOTHER
START AT $119

Bridesmates?

I originally thought that the storekeeper might have a stable of men she was offering to sell to brides who were, as they say, “left at the altar,” or women who desire a mate, but are too busy/shy/crazy/homely/slovenly to find one in a more conventional way.

“Kinda tacky,” I thought.

It then dawned on me that I am just not hip to creative weddings, and that the shop might well be selling people to participate in nautical weddings. These days, couples are increasingly choosing exotic sites for weddings, so I’m certain that some of them are opting to get married at sea.

Given that the price of a bridesmate “start” at $119, I assume that for the sale price a bride gets only a run-of-the-mill bridesmate, and that a really salty one goes for considerably more, but I’m just guessing.

Having sorted out the bridesmate thing, I remain perplexed about the idea of selling a “mother.” It is, I think, safe to assume that the $119 figure does not apply to the mother, as there is only one of them for sale, and, as such, the “start” price doesn’t make much sense. I do not know the exact price for the mother, but given that she is part of the ad, I assume that she is also on sale.

It is always sad when a bride’s mother is unable, through death or illness, to see her daughter get married, but I wonder whether a motherless bride would have much interest in buying a mother, even at a sale price.

I truly believe that I scooped the local newspaper on this important story. I’ll keep you posted.