Bought a new “upstairs” television. It is a 24″ flat screen unit, with VCR and DVD players built in. I bought a TV with the widgets built into it, because if I were to try to hook up those two separate gadgets to the TV, the odds are excellent that one or both of them would go out the window.

So far, so good. Even the owner’s manual (at least the parts of it necessary to initially auto-program the set) is written more clearly than some of the word salad I have encountered in the past when trying to figure out how to operate things electronic.

Memo to Television Manufacturers: Yo, might it be possible to provide a remote displaying letters and numbers that can be read by someone who doesn’t quite have the visual acuity of a peregrine falcon? And, while you’re at it, how about a remote with buttons that can be operated by someone who doesn’t have fingers like ET’s.

We pause for this minute of introspection.

Voice Inside My Cruller: Jimbo, you sound like some kind of whiney dork bitching about the owner’s manual and the design of the farookin’ remote. You’re old enough to remember the 10″ Dumont that got seven “channels,” and on which sat rabbit ears with aluminum foil balls on the tips. Don’t you remember that changing the station actually required you to get your ass out of the chair and turn the channel selector with a pair of pliers, because the plastic knob was always broken?

Right. … Never mind.