Hotel Lady (hereinafter, “HL”): “Hello. Jekyll Island Days Inn. May I help you?”

Jimbo: “Aaaay, Haya dooin’?”

HL: “Excuse me?”

Jimbo: “Yo, I said ‘haya dooin’?”

HL: “I’m sorry. I don’t quite understa….”

Jimbo: “Dat’s OK. I’m lookin’ to book a room for a couple a nights. Are you da – watchyacall – group reservation person?”

HL: “Yes, I am. How can I help you?”

Jimbo: “Tanks a lot. Like I said, I’m lookin’ to book a room for April fifteent and sixteent.”

HL: “What group are you with, sir?”

Jimbo: “Oh, lemme tink a minute. … OK, I remember. I’m wit da – watchyacall – Georgia Writers Workshop.”

HL:

Jimbo: “Yo! You still dere?”

HL: “Yes, I am. It’s just….Well, it’s just that you don’t sound like you’re from Georgia.”

Jimbo: “I dunno know how you’d know dat. You got a problem wit dat?”

HL: “And, if I may say so, you don’t sound much like a writer either.”

Jimbo: “Yo! What’s wit all da questions? Are you freakin’ coo-coo or some shit? You wit the FBI? I just wanna book da room.”

HL: “Frankly, I don’t know what you’re up to, but I don’t think you’re being honest.”

Jimbo: “Are you callin’ me a liar? What’s wit choo? Here I am talkin’ nice to you, and you’re given me a bunch a bullshit, like some kinda booTAHN!”

HL: “Look, I just sense that there is something funny going on here.”

Jimbo: “Funny? You mean like Rodney Freakin’ Dangerfield? You tink I’m tryin’ to be funny? You hear me laughin’? I don’t hear you laughin’. You’re beginnin’ to piss me off here. Are you gonna book da room or not?”

HL: “No, I will not book the room, because I don’t know what you’re up to, and I DON’T think you’re a Georgia writer, and, further, I doubt if any of the Georgia writers would even know you.”

Jimbo: “You gotta be shittin’ me. Check wit Velociman. He knows me.”

HL:

Jimbo: “You still dere?”

HL: “Did you say ‘Velociman’?”

Jimbo: “Yeah. Me and him are buddies.”

HL: “I had no idea. … I’d be happy to reserve a room for you, sir.”

Jimbo: “OK, it’s for da fifteent and sixteent. You got dat? Hey, youse guys anywhere near a liquor store?”

HL: “Yes sir. I have it, and yes, there is a liquor store nearby.”

Jimbo: “Dat’s good. Tanks.”

HL: “Sir?”

Jimbo: “Yeah?”

HL: “I’m sorry about the mix-up. I wasn’t aware that you know Veloci….”

Jimbo: “Aaaay, fuggetaboutit.”