As many of you know, Jimbo does not like to screw around with Mr. Template. Frankly, it is often tough being surrounded in the sphere by people who can put up a new skin during a smoke break.

I really squirm when I see people talk about SQLs (whatever the farook they are), and my knees positively buckle when I read stuff like this:

…found a couple of PHP files with improper permissions, but it seems the most important find was the cache location. In EE, under your control panel directory is one named cache. That has to be set to 777, which in FTP shows up as drwxrwxrwx. Full read, write and execute across the board. Under that is a db_cache directory. It also must be 777. Under it were some directories with GUID names. That is, randomly generated sets of characters designed to be unique. It all must be 777. Some of this existed in the new location, but not with correct permissions.

Yowza! Talk about making my hair hurt!

To me, the equivalent of reaching the summit of Mr. Everest is being able to add shit to the sidebar (That would be one sidebar – I can’t relate to two sidebars), without turning this box into a pile of smoldering plastic. Don’t speak to me of Style Sheets, as they sound like something on which one sleeps. Ethernet cards? Does the deck contain jokers? Spare me.

So, it isn’t without unbridled fear that I actually opened Mr. Template to add some sidebar stuff. My first masterpiece is that Garden State Parkway logo on the left. It’s actually a button. If you click on it, it will provide information that will go a long way to answering the question that every half=assed comedian asks some pour soul in the audience who volunteers that he/she is from Jersey –“What exit?”

My second serious accomplishment was creating a little piece of blogestate for “Da Joisey Blogmeet.” With a couple cocktails, I could get way out on this one.

So, check out Da Joisey Blogmeet thing on the sidebar to see how to reserve your space at the cold-weather Meeting Place of the Usual Suspects. And, for Chrissake, click on the gott-damned Parkway logo, if for no other reason than to humor me into believing that the year or so of life I lost qvetching about fooling with Mr. Template was worth it.

If there ever was a site to bookmark for future reference, this is it.

I booshit you not.