Those planning to attend the upcoming Georgia Writers’ Workshop, please take note of this important announcement.

The previously scheduled seminars, entitled “Writing Fiction: How Much Research is Enough?” and “Earning a Living with Words” have been canceled.

In their place, Velociman and Acidman will jointly conduct a symposium, entitled, “The Aging Male Anal Sphincter and the Consequences of its Diminishing Sensitivity.”

Velociman will then read portions of his treatise on bicycling, which he calls, “Bicycling – It’s Not Just a Sore Ass.”

Acidman will complete the pre-lunch session with some useful tips on “Heiney Hygiene”.

Note: Recording devices and cameras are not permitted in the classroom.

I don’t just let any-farookin’-body cut my hair. I have gone to the same guy (Yes, it’s a “foo foo” place with a French name) for years, and, before that, I went to one of his employees, who died of AIDS (“Yo, stay away from the orifices – just cut the hair.”). Great guy and a helluva a hair-cutter, may he rest in peace.

I think that the last truly shitty haircut I got was in Bavaria years ago and, before that, it was the fifteen-second hair zap in Fort Dix, leaving my head hair shorter than the hair on my eyebrows.

Having said that, I think that this haircut is a great idea, should you be the type of person who cannot stay awake during boring meetings, or one who nods off during brain numbing lectures.

Thanks to my friend Brian, the Air Force Vet.