I was tagged today by my buddy Dash, who dropped this meme in my lap. The rules, as explained by Dash, are that I had to choose five from the list that appears below and complete the thought. Here goes:

If I could be a proctologist, after each patient I would check to make sure I was still wearing my watch.

If I could be a linguist, I would become fluent in Latin in order to be prepared for a possible trip to Latty some day.

If I could be a scientist, I would work at discovering the gene that consigns some people to a life of assholeism.

If I could be a farmer, I would have to learn to appreciate the smell of cow shit.

If I could be a writer, I’d probably want to be a farookin’ lawyer. The grass is always greener, or some shit like that.

Now it’s my turn to share the fun.

What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you).

Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

Here’s that list:

If I could be a scientist…
If I could be a farmer…
If I could be a musician…
If I could be a doctor…
If I could be a painter…
If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary…
If I could be a chef…
If I could be an architect…
If I could be a linguist…
If I could be a psychologist…
If I could be a librarian…
If I could be an athlete…
If I could be a lawyer…
If I could be an innkeeper…
If I could be a professor…
If I could be a writer…
If I could be a backup dancer…
If I could be a llama-rider…
If I could be a bonnie pirate…
If I could be a midget stripper…
If I could be a proctologist…
IIf I could be a TV-Chat Show host…
If I could be an actor…
If I could be a judge…
If I could be a Jedi…
If I could be a mob boss…


I think I’ll hand this off to three Jersey Bloggers who showed up at the Da Jersey Blogmeet: Kate of Katespot, Gregor of Sad Old Goth, and Sluggo of Sluggo Needs a Nap.