How’d you like to wake up after a couple three cocketails and face a bathroom with a floor that was painted to look like this?

Thanks to my friend Brian, the Air Force Vet.

I have never been one to write on bathroom walls, nor do I advocate the practice. However, when using a graffiti covered restroom, it is impossible not to read the scribbling of others who find it acceptable to write on bathroom walls. Here, via Beautiful Atrocities, is a nice sampling of Restroom Graffiti. Here is a specific example from the collection, which I hope was not written in a restroom anywhere near where my friend Catfish lives.

Here is a site that is devoted to public restrooms. For the world traveler, the site lists “Clean Restrooms Around the World” and “The World’s Nicest Public Restrooms” (with pics). This would be very useful for Blackberry users who find themselves in places such as Basel Switzerland in wicked need of a restroom. You might find that you are within walking distance of a nice, clean, safe spot to take care of the biological imperative. I suppose that those who do not travel with a Blackberry (and who are hopelessly anal retentive) could use the site in connection with planning a trip and future craps.

As some of you know, I have been known to be so shitfaced absorbed in a scholarly discussion of blogging that I inadvertently entered a ladies room in Helen Georgia. At the time I was quite surprised to find that the ladies room was infinitely grosser than the men’s room. I have since assumed that to be an anomaly, and it may well be, however, it appears that there is some research to show that ladies rooms are more germ-laden than men’s rooms. I’ll be more careful in the future, as I’ll take messy over infectious any day.

Now, go forth and evacuate.

In today’s litigious society saying “I’m sorry” can be a legal disaster.

This is so because your words of contrition can, and very often will, be used against you in a future legal proceeding as evidence of your culpability. The reason for this rule is that such expressions often do provide some evidence of the speaker’s culpability (or writer’s if the apology is written), but sometimes they do not.

People in everyday life say “I’m sorry” for all sorts of reasons that are not intended as an admission of culpability. They say it, more often than not, because it is a civilized thing to do and often will help defuse a potentially explosive situation or assuage the anger and hurt feelings that often spawn lawsuits.

TigerHawk has written an excellent post on the subject in which he points out that several states have enacted, or are considering enacting, an “Apology Privilege” for physicians, which would permit a doctor to apologize to a patient after something has gone medically wrong without having the apology used against him or her in court.

This reminded me of surveys I have read (and cannot point to at the moment) that show that the doctors who are most often sued are not those practitioners who have tended to the health of a family for years, but rather the high-powered, high priced specialists. The reason given for this phenomenon is that the specialist often views the patient as just another case and, as a result, has a lousy bedside manner. I suspect that another reason might be that high-powered specialists are also more likely to be well-represented by high-powered lawyers who instruct their doctor clients to “Always be careful about what you say to a patient because it can come back to haunt you later.”

TigerHawk suggests that an Apology Privilege should not be limited to physicians, but rather should be available to everyone as a means to advancing civility in society and possibly even reducing the number of lawsuits that would be brought. In that regard, TigerHawk donned his legal cap and drafted a model statutory provision, entitled, Inadmissibility Of Statements Or Conduct Expressing Contrition, Regret Or Apology, which, in my view, ought to be considered for adoption by federal and state legislators.

JamulBlog is skeptical about whether such an “Apology Privilege” would have a significant effect on reducing the number of lawsuits, because there are some lawsuits where an apology that is unaccompanied by an offer of payment for damages would not prevent an action (and he cites a good example). Assuming that he is right in doubting that an Apology Privilege might not significantly reduce the number of truly meritorious lawsuits, we agree that the such a privilege is not a bad idea. I cannot see how it could hurt.

Not admitting evidence of a stated apology should not damage or discourage the bringing of a meritorious case, because if a case is truly meritorious, there ought to be ample evidence to prove wrongdoing of the defendant beyond the evidence of a statement of contrition (which, as noted above, may not be very probative to begin with).

Furthermore, even if an Apology Privilege would not significantly reduce the number of lawsuits, it would serve the purpose of encouraging civility in society, something that is in woefully short supply today.

A few years ago, I read an article in a legal publication that examined the American rule of permitting the use of an apology to prove culpability and pointed out how disastrous such a policy would be in Japan. The article explained that, in the context of an accident with injuries, the worst thing a potential defendant can do is to fail to offer an apology. In fact, the article pointed out that woe is the potential defendant who doesn’t show up at the hospital bed of the accident victim with profuse apologies, flowers, and an offer to help make things right.

I view the Apology Privilege much the same way as I do the evidence rule that prohibits the use of “subsequent remedial measures” to prove negligence.** Stripped of detail, that rule provides that, if you are a landlord and someone falls down your stairs and, after the accident, you install a banister, the installation of the banister cannot be offered into evidence to prove that your not having a banister in the first place was negligent.

While the installation of a banister after an accident might well be very probative of the negligence in not having had a banister in the first place, the rule advances the important societal goal of encouraging people to fix things in order to make them safe. The rule also encourages people who have not been negligent to take measures to make things “safer than safe.” After all, the facts might ultimately show that the person who fell on the stairs was drunk, or that a banister would not have prevented the fall. The rule permits responsible people to make their property even safer without penalizing them for it.

In the end, an “Apology Privilege,” much like the “Subsequent Remedial Measure” rule makes commons sense, and that too is in short supply these days.

**Note to the lawyers out there: I am aware that it is often possible to offer subsequent design changes to prove the existence of a design defect in a products liability case, but that issue is well beyond the scope of this post.

The Setting
Jimbo standing on line at the drugstore after a longer-than-usual ride home from work due to heavy Jersey traffic. There are two women ahead of me on line. The woman being waited on asks numerous questions about her prescriptions and her prescription insurance plan (all reasonable questions), but for each question, the young lady clerk behind the counter had to consult the pharmacist. As such, it was taking a bit of time.

Jimbo’s Bladder: “Yo!”

Jimbo: “What do you want?”

Bladder: “Where the hell are we?”

Jimbo: “We’re on line in a drug store. I have to pick up a prescription I dropped off this morning.”

Bladder: “In a drug store? Are you shitting me? After lunch you drank all that bottled water, and a couple Diet Cokes. I warned you before you left the office about that didn’t I? But did you stop at the men’s room? Noooooo.”

Jimbo: “Yeah, you did, but I wanted to get on the road. I thought everything would be OK.”

Bladder: “Well it wasn’t OK, dipshit. You got caught in traffic, and you even drank another Diet Coke in the car, didn’t you? Are you messin’ with me?”

Jimbo: “No I’m not. Look, I think that the lady at the counter is almost finished, then there will be only one person in front of me. Stop your bitching. We’ll be home in a few minutes. See? I told you. The first lady just left the counter.”

Clerk: “May I help you?”

Lady No. 2: “I’m here to pick up two prescriptions.”

Clerk: “And the name is?”

Lady No. 2: “My name is Adams.”

Clerk: Proceeds to the bin marked “Aa – Ai,” which contains prescriptions ready for pick-up. Looks through bin twice and returns to counter empty-handed. “How do you spell your name, Ma’am?”

Lady No. 2: “Adams – That’s A…D…A…M…S.”

Bladder: “What’s going on here? I thought you said only a couple minutes.”

Jimbo: “There seems to be some confusion over the Lady’s prescriptions. Calm down.”

Bladder: “Calm down, you say? Need I remind you that I’m working here with a sphincter that is not exactly factory fresh.”

Clerk: Returns to bin and looks through prescriptions again, and, this time also looks through the bin marked “Aj – Az.” She returns to the counter again empty-handed. “When did you drop the prescriptions off, Ma’am?”

Lady No. 2: Now, becoming annoyed. “At about ten this morning.”

Bladder: “This is bullshit. I can’t hold out much longer. I’m about to burst here. Dammit, I warned you before you left the office and all the damned way home in the car. You’re playin’ with fire, Jimbo.”

Jimbo: “Try to hold back just a little longer, will ya? I’m dying here. I don’t know what the hell is the problem with this lady’s prescriptions. Why me?”

Clerk: Looking puzzled, consults the computer, then consults with the pharmacist, and yet again, returns to the counter empty handed. “I’m very sorry ma’am, but we don’t have any record of prescriptions today for ‘Adams.’”

Bladder: “Christ! Did you hear that? You’re screwed, buddy. I’m about to blow.”

Lady No. 2: “Well, I’m picking up the prescriptions for my grandmother.”

Clerk: “Your grandmother? What’s her name?”

Lady No. 2: “Her name is Gianelli.”

Jimbo: “Yes, ma’am that would be my piss running down your leg.”

End Note: It’s all true, except for the last line, and, of course, the talking bladder. I barely made it home with my prescriptions before having a most embarrassing accident.

Evilwhiteguy has the story/stories on the “H”.

I learn something every farookin’ day.

I have to do this quickly, because there is something going on here, either with Mr. Computer or Comcast.

Most of the time, I cannot get to the web. Occasionally, at random intervals, I can. I think this damned box may have a virus, but I am not sure. If I disappear for a time, you will know why.

Update: Something is really wrong here. Dammit!

Update: It appears that the problem may, at least in part, reside with Comcast (I still think that there is a cyber-nasty lurking around in this box). I called the toll-free Comcast number and the recorded voice said “We are experiencing a higher than usual call volume due to a service outage. Our engineers are working on the problem. To disconnect, press 1; to continue, press 2.” I pressed “1”. I’ve had it for today.

Those planning to attend the upcoming Georgia Writers’ Workshop, please take note of this important announcement.

The previously scheduled seminars, entitled “Writing Fiction: How Much Research is Enough?” and “Earning a Living with Words” have been canceled.

In their place, Velociman and Acidman will jointly conduct a symposium, entitled, “The Aging Male Anal Sphincter and the Consequences of its Diminishing Sensitivity.”

Velociman will then read portions of his treatise on bicycling, which he calls, “Bicycling – It’s Not Just a Sore Ass.”

Acidman will complete the pre-lunch session with some useful tips on “Heiney Hygiene”.

Note: Recording devices and cameras are not permitted in the classroom.

I don’t just let any-farookin’-body cut my hair. I have gone to the same guy (Yes, it’s a “foo foo” place with a French name) for years, and, before that, I went to one of his employees, who died of AIDS (“Yo, stay away from the orifices – just cut the hair.”). Great guy and a helluva a hair-cutter, may he rest in peace.

I think that the last truly shitty haircut I got was in Bavaria years ago and, before that, it was the fifteen-second hair zap in Fort Dix, leaving my head hair shorter than the hair on my eyebrows.

Having said that, I think that this haircut is a great idea, should you be the type of person who cannot stay awake during boring meetings, or one who nods off during brain numbing lectures.

Thanks to my friend Brian, the Air Force Vet.

Well, I finally got around to arranging for my “wheels” for the boozefest Georgia Writers’ Workshop on Jekyll Island. I got it through Priceline.com for less than beer money. I’ll be arriving at the airport at 11:32 AM. If you see a lost-looking sorry ass wandering around the airport with “suitcase and guitar in hand,” that would be me.

Next, I have to hit Mapquest to find out how to get from the airport to “Ground Zero” on Jekyll Island. Frankly, that makes me nervous, because, as I told people asking for directions to Da Jersey Blogmeet, I can barely find my ass with both hands. I can see myself taking a tour of Alabama.

What the heck is Parkway Rest Stop doing on this blogroll?

“Disclaimer” aside, I don’t think I like the implication.