A PRS undercover operative recently attended a Washington D.C. cocktail party and listened in on a discussion among a group comprised of Senators Barbara Boxer, Christopher Dodd, Joe Biden and Ted Kennedy. The discussion centered on their plans to defeat any energy policy proposed by President Bush, or, for that matter, anything at all proposed by President Bush.

Joe Biden interrupted the group’s discussion when he noticed John Bolton, the President’s nominee for the post of United States Ambassador to the United Nations, walk by.

Biden: “Hey John! John Bolton! How are you? Good to see you.”

Bolton: (briefly stopping) “Senators Boxer, Dodd, Biden and Kennedy … Good evening.” (begins to resume walking past the group)

Boxer: “John, please join us. It’s a wonderful party, isn’t it?”

Bolton:

Dodd: “Hey, buddy. I hope you’re not angry with us over some of the things we’ve been saying on the Senate Floor and in Committee. We’ve been pretty tough on you, I know.”

Kennedy: “Chris is right, John. I know that at various times, each of us has referred to you as a bully, and a liar…”

Boxer: “… and a person who rigged intelligence reports, and who hollered at a government employee and, as if that were not enough, you actually wanted to fire a government employee. a government employee, John!”

Bolton:

Biden: “Yes, and we all said on repeated occasions that your numerous character flaws render you completely unfit to hold the position of Ambassador to the United Nations. But Jeez Louise, John, I hope you aren’t taking any of it personally. We are just doing our jobs. You know…The Advice and Consent Thing?”

Kennedy: “It’s just a confirmation thing, John. It’s no reason why we can’t all just get along. How about a martini?”

Bolton: “Are you all finished?”

Boxer:

Dodd:

Biden:

Kennedy:

Bolton: “You shitheads have been saying those things about me on the Senate floor and in Committee Rooms, especially when the cameras are rolling. Well, were not in the Senate now, and I want to see if any of you has the backbone to say those things to my face. Right here. Right now.”

Boxer:

Dodd:

Biden:

Kennedy:

Bolton: “I thought so. You people make me want to puke. It kills you bastards to know that in the United Nations I would represent the interests of the people of the United States and not your bullshit We are the World – Kumbaya ideology. You can all kiss my ass!” (walks away)

Biden: “See? The guy lacks the temperament to be an Ambassador.”

Boxer: “You’re right, Joe. He’s no Madeline Albright.”

Dodd: “Yep, ol’ Madeline would run circles around that smartass. Now where were we?”

Biden: “We were talking about how much we hate George Bush’s policy.”

Dodd: “Which one?”

Boxer: “Doesn’t matter. We hate ‘em all.”

Kennedy: “Oh waiter! Can we get four more Grey Goose martinis heah? Make it snappy!! We’re parched.”