About a year and a half ago, I wrote a post about gang violence. Since that time, the comments to the post have become sort of a chat room, where some of our more stellar citizens grace us with their weighty thoughts.

From time to time, I like to share their more recent literary contributions.

Go take a peek, but please do not disturb them. I prefer that they be left alone to really show their stuff.

Wall to Wall coverage. I could puke.

Welcome to September 10, 2001.

I know that many of you have not been able to access this site over the last few days. Neither have I.

The problem appears to have arisen from the waves of comment spam that have assaulted this place, which have caused the host to simply shut down the site without warning.

My friend, with an inexhaustible supply of patience and graciousness, is working on the problem. Given that he has many things to attend to these days that are far more important than worrying about this piss-ass blog, please be patient while we try a few things to deal with the problem. One possibility being considered is moving away from Movable Type.

I’m not sure where this all is headed, but please stay tuned.

Thinking about buying someone a Home Depot Gift Certificate?

Think again.

Yes, I brought Mr. Laptop on my recent business trip, and yes, I am a Maroon. Indeed, I am not the Run-of-the-Mill Maroon: I am the Platonic form of a Maroon. Prior to my departure, I had continued to believe that, even with my snail-like pace of learning about computer things, I might, just might, be able to breathe life into Mr. Laptop this trip and hop on the net, just like all the cool guys do when they are away from home.

I arrived at my hotel room and immediately looked for some sort of an internet connection. I didn’t have to look long, because on the desk was an information sheet explaining that the hotel provided wireless access to the web for a modest daily fee. I know that Mr. Laptop is not set up for “wireless,” but the information sheet said that the hotel would provide a widget that would turn Mr. Laptop into a space-age wireless wonder. I pictured myself taking advantage of the few spare moments to dash off some “on the scene” reportage. I was just a phone call away from being one of the really cool “wireless” guys.

Because I had to get ready to attend a dinner, I decided to call the hotel later to arrange for the delivery of the Mystery Box.

During cocktails before dinner, I overheard a colleague bitching about not being able to “connect.” Stupidly feeling my “techno-oats,” I told the fellow about the magical widget that promised to turn his laptop (and mine) into internet speedsters.

Unfortunately, he was way ahead of me. He already had one of the Mystery Boxes delivered to his room, and he deftly did all the plugging in of stuff. However, once plugged in, his laptop had informed him that because of some “proxy-schmoxy” thing, he couldn’t be connected without changing a critical setting. He confirmed this by phone with our IT guys in Jersey and with the Mystery Box hotel people.

Turns out that neither he nor I have the “administrative rights” to flip the switch that would activate the Mystery Box. Even the IT guys in Jersey didn’t have the juice to flip the switch. Our laptops are so well locked down that my “administrative rights” pretty much begin and end with being able to type capital letters whenever I want.

So, for the duration of the trip, Mr. Laptop stayed in the black bag with all the wires and widgets, about as useless as a sack of bricks.

Henceforth, Mr. Laptop will remain securely “docked” in my office.

Does anyone know of a Jersey Chapter of “Maroons Anonymous?”

Congratulations to my friend Craig and his Spousal Unit on the occasion of the arrival of a baby girl, Kiran Lee, this morning. And, he’s got pictures up.

Here’s how I learned of this from “The Nicest Guy in the Blogosphere.”

I was having connectivity problems accessing the Movabletype page on which one runs da blog. I dropped Craig an e-mail asking if and only if he had a spare moment, he might take a look at the problem.

Three minutes later, my phone rang, and the conversation went something like this.

Craig: “Hi Jim, it’s Craig. I think I fixed that problem for you.”

Jimbo: “Craig! Jesus, that was fast. What was the problem?” (As if I would be able to understand the answer.)

Craig: “Well, the … ” [lots of technospeak followed].

Jimbo: “Hmmmm. I’ll pretend that I understood what you just said. Hey, when are you guys going to have that baby? I know that it’s any day now, right?”

Craig: “About four hours ago.”

Jimbo: “WHAT?? You had a baby four hours ago, and you’re on the farookin’ phone with ME about a blog problem?”

Craig: “Well, I just got in from the hospital and I planned on making a few phone calls and then taking a nap. I saw your e-mail, so I fixed the problem.”

After a bit of chatting about the happy event, I suggested that he probably had more important phone calls to make than this one and that he should make them and then take that nap.

I figure that Baby Kiran Lee hit the jackpot in the Parents Lottery.

Techno-foiled again! Not surprisingly, I returned to 2,000+ Comment and Trackback Spams, which I have been dealing with ever since my return.

More details later, but right now, I am headed for The Deck to join the Usual Suspects for some standing around in the pool and drinking swimming and hanging out.

I will be away for the rest of the week on business. I will again be bringing Mr. Laptop (hereinafter, the “Damned Thing”) with me. Given that my past experiences trying to deal with the Damned Thing have been a disaster, one might say I have perseverance. However, it is probably more accurate to say that my dragging the Damned Thing along yet again demonstrates beyond any doubt whatsoever that learning often simply does not take place.

So, what are the chances that I will be able to post something? Let’s run the numbers, shall we?

1/100 = probability that I will be able to connect to the web with the Damned Thing. We’ll call that “a”.

1/10 = probability that, even if I can connect to the web with the Damned Thing, I will have time to write anything. We’ll call that “b”.

1/10 = probability that, even if I can connect to the web with the Damned Thing and that I will have time to write something, I will have something some content worth writing. We’ll call that “c”.

(a)(b)(c) = probability of “a” and “b” and “c” all occurring.

(1/100)(1/10)(1/10) = 1/10,000

Ergo, the probability that you will see anything new here over the next couple days is nothing on which I would bet the ranch.

How often have you had the feeling that everything in life is moving too damned fast? Too many things to think about? Too many things to do?

Slow down!!!

That was my voter number in my voting district today in New Jersey’s primary election for Governor. When I finally voted (Unfortunately, I was the “on-the-job training case” for the “poll ladies”), the polls had already been open for 45 minutes.

Given that Corzine is running unopposed in the Democrat primary, it is logical to assume that whatever turnout there is will be mainly made up of Republicans. In my voting district, all the Republicans would probably fit in a phone booth. My guess is that the poll ladies got to spend a good deal of time chatting and eating donuts today.

So, in short order (the polls close at 8PM), we should know which candidate will face Jon Corzine (the “Jersey Zilch”) in November. I wish I could get stoked about a possible Republican victory in the general election, but for too many years I have seen the Democrat Machine crush Republicans in this state. The political system is simply rotten to the core.

Maybe this year will be different. Hope springs eternal.