I picked up the New Wheels (a/k/a The Big, Fat, Black, Capitalist Car) today. I’m happy to say that the deal I originally made stuck, and I even ended up getting some additional bells and whistles. What I also received is a New Car Manuel that is roughly the size of a small-town phone book.

If you don’t hear any more from me today, it’s because I am trying to figure out some of the cockpit controls and how to get the buttons in the car to open my garage door.

If I owned a digital camera (Remember, I’m computer stupid and I don’t even have an ATM card), I’d post pictures. However, I don’t and, therefore, I cannot. But, you can use your imagination. Think big and black, with a ragtop and a pinstripe, and it is named after a President who was shot in Ford’s Theater.