I’ve got them, big time. I don’t have the energy or the ability to write anything worth a shit. I’ve had them before, and, as in the past, I suspect they will pass. Still, the Blahs are a bitch when you’ve got ‘em.

Why do I have the blahs?

Damned good question, in response to which I can only speculate. So here are the three, four, five, six, seven reasons why I think I might have the Blahs:

1. Recent pasting by the New Jersey State Government.
Being taxed to death for the privilege of living in this Blue State between the “elites” and the democrat “base” is just the most recent of the governmental muggings inflicted on the working citizens of New Jersey, and it’s beginning to wear my ass out. I wonder if all the heavy Rt. 22 traffic these days is the result of the legions of people now shopping for real estate in Pennsylvania.

2. I can’t spell “rhythm” without relying on Spellcheck.
It’s sad, because it is a word that I would like to use more often, but I write around it, not wanting to interrupt a thought to go to Mr. Spellcheck and thereby implicitly admit my strange frailty. Yes, in the previous sentence I took a feeble stab at the word, only to rely yet again on Mr. Spellcheck. Jeez.

3. My new phone is too farookin’ complicated.
I wound up buying a new cell phone. Why that happened is a rather boring story, but suffice it say that only in the world of “Verizonspeak” would it cost more to replace Mrs. Parkway’s phone than it would to buy two new phones. Anyway, the one I bought is one of those “RAZOR” phones that not only makes telephone calls, but also does about three million other things, about 2,999,997 of which I don’t need and will never use. I expect that if I pushed the right buttons and held it over the right spot, the damned thing would do an appendectomy. Forget about taking pictures with it – all I want to do is be able to say “Call home” and watch it do its stuff. Probably will never happen though.

Update: I forgot. I also now have one of those damned Blue Tooth, hands-free things. What the hell have I become? Listen … if you ever see me walking down the street with that thing stuck in my ear, please kick my ass. Thank you.

4. I need to change the CDs in my car.
I’ve been listening to the current six for a couple weeks, and I’m ready for a change. Problem is that I’m too lazy and, being a Libran, I can’t make a decision. Dion? The Stones? Merle Haggard? Maybe a little Candy Dulfer blowin’ sax? Shit!

5. I get too much goddamned mail.
Most of it is junk mail (No, I don’t need another farookin’ credit card, thank you very much), but there is just enough of it that I have to read to piss me off and give me the Blahs.

6. I can’t make the Blogmeet in Helen this year.
This makes it two years in a row. I have prior professional commitments, which I cannot move. Negs me out, and surely has something to do with the Blahs.

7. I miss Rob.
‘Nuf said.