PRS has managed to get its hands on a copy of a letter written by Congresswoman Nancy Peolosi (D. Calif.) to the Junior Senator from New York, Hillary Clinton (D. NY). Here it is:

September 30, 2006

Dear Hilly,

Just freakin’ WOW is all I can say. Now that that Florida guy got caught talking dirty to kids (Bless his heart), we are that much closer to taking the House of Representatives in November, and you KNOW what that means. Yours Trooly-ooly will be the Speaker of the House!! “Madam Speaker!!!!” OMFG, the thought of it makes me all squirmelly in my nether regions. Know what I mean? Sure you do. LOL.

Once I’m in as Madam Speaker, you can nominate me to run as your Vice President. Is that a freakin’ AWESOME idea, or what? We could have an absolute hoot running all over the country calling republicans liars, cheats, fascists, crooks and monkey-people. Can you imagine anything being more fun? I can’t! LOL.

Then, once we’re elected in ’08, the first thing you can do after the inauguration is to give What’s His Name his Walking Papers and change the locks on the White House. This is YOUR TIME, Baby. Who needs him?

Sister, we could put some life back in that White House. Imagine the cool parties! Streisand, Baldwin, Sarandon, Robbins, Cruise, Spielburg, Whoopi, Chevy, Rosie, and that dreamy and oh-so-tall (You know what I’m sayin’) David Gregory. That will be freakin’ AWESOME!

I know what you’re thinking, but don’t worry about those tiarists that those stupid republicans keep insisting are trying to blow us up. I think we can put an end to the so-called problem if you and I write a nice letter to the Top Tiarist Guy, explaining that we are the good guys. We can make it clear that we never believed that they were interested in establishing a twenty-first century Colgate and subjecting us all to Sharona Law, and that, now that we got the bad guys out of our government, they can leave us alone.

I was also thinking that we could enclose pictures of our tits in the letter.

So, what do you think, Girlfriend?

Smoochies,

Nancy a/k/a “Pearl”