Dear air travelers, how does this grab ya?

The Star Ledger reported:

Screeners at Newark Liberty International Airport failed 20 of 22 security tests conducted by undercover U.S. agents last week, missing an array of concealed bombs and guns at checkpoints throughout the hub’s three terminals, federal security officials familiar with the results said.

So, had this been a high school quiz, the screeners collectively received a score of 9%. That’s not just an “F”, but it also would warrant a note home.

In one of the more elegant examples of spin (and proving that he has spent lots of time with consultants), Mark Hatfield Jr., Newark Airport’s federal security director, stated about the results of the test:

“We can do better, and training is the path to improved performance. … Test results are not a grade or a scorecard; they are a road map to perpetual improvement; any other characterization is simply misleading. We have to challenge ourselves to do better every day and be relentless in that pursuit.”

This is hardly an academic matter, because, after all, it was at Newark Airport where the September 11th hijackers boarded Flight 93, which ultimately crashed in Pennsylvania before it could hit its intended target.

I don’t know about you, but this loosens my bowels, and provides me with yet another reason to try to plan flights out of Newark when the airport bars are open.