The polls are closed. Yowza!

This campaign has been exhausting.

I had intended to visit all fifty states (with my Tom-Tom direction gizmo in tow, of course), but I never got out of Jersey. I had anticipated attending Country Fairs, kissing babies, playing guitar and making shirtsleeve speeches from the back of flatbed, but I never got out of Jersey.

Tim Russert, Bob Schieffer and George Stephanopoulos all wanted to pay my expenses to come to Washington to appear on their Sunday television broadcasts, but I never got out of Jersey. I was too busy to accept the invitation from the Today show, or to write the op-ed piece the New York Times was pestering me for.

Despite my failure to make all the campaign stops and guest appearances I had envisioned, as of 11:59 p.m. on Friday, it would appear that I received more votes than the excellent bloggers who were in the same finalist category. The rules clearly state that the voting is not official until the results are certified. I, therefore, shall wait for that to happen before I pour myself a generous helping of primo victory bourbon.

I’ll have more to say about my plans for the United States and the World in General once the results are certified, but now I must rest. All this frantic-paced Jersey campaigning has worn my sorry ass out.

It certainly would not be premature to thank all those who took the time to vote (and to vote regularly) for my silly site. Accordingly, here is a thank you for each of 572 votes.

THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU 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THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU …THANK YOU …THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU … THANK YOU and THANK YOU.

This number counts the nine times I voted for myself. I couldn’t resist, because, after all, I really am a swell guy.