Well, the old wireless phone at the Rest Stop — the one that incorporated the answering machine — finally gave up the ghost a week or so ago. Those who called and didn’t get to leave a message after the beep now know why.

It has since been replaced by one of those spiffy “base station” deals with two additional handsets. This hi-tech (for me, anyway) unit comes with an answering machine, caller ID, memory, custom ringer-dingers, other bells and whistles and a big-assed book of instructions.

As such it also comes with a built-in Case of the Ass for Jimbo, because now I have to figure out how to work the damned things. Remember, I’m the guy who put a piece of tape over the blinking light on the VCR and who gave away a DVD player rather than try to hook it up to a very old color TV.

I shall spend the balance of the evening with “Da Book” and a royal pain in my non-techno ass.

Anyone want to lend me a thirteen-year old to set this shit up pronto?