Dear Republicans in my Congressional District,

I’ve received several letters (actually two) inquiring about our mobilization plan for the congressional elections in 2008.

Seeing as how there are only twenty-five of us in this District and that we are spread across parts of three counties and parts of sixteen municipalities, and seeing as how the chances of each of us getting hit in the head with a piece of space junk far exceed the chances of us ever voting this Waste of Space out of office, I suggest that rather than wasting our time worrying about congressional elections, we get together every third Wednesday to catch a flick and maybe have a couple beers afterwards.

Otherwise, we could continue to hold our regular monthly meetings in my second cousin George’s Buick Roadmaster Station Wagon.

Sincerely,

Jimbo