For this, I blame Hillary and Nancy Pelosi, who shit this place up with some regularity.

Check out this post, which details the efforts of young men, described as being “Middle Eastern,” trying to purchase school buses in various U.S. cities. In each instance, they were turned down. In addition, Federal Officials alerted schools in six states that a computer disc was discovered in Iraq that contained photos, floor plans and other information about their schools.

Connect the dots.

Given that the attempts to buy the school busses took place in 2006, I like to think that this was one of the terrorist plots that was quietly thwarted by the government. However, I know that these folks are determined and very patient. After all, they have been at it for a thousand years or so.

It scares the hell out of me to think that one of these days they’ll succeed.

School buses.

Floor plans of schools.

Think about that.

Via Fausta

I found this at the Wiseass Jooette’s Site, and this confirms that, despite what those of you with southern ears may hear, she (with her ass built too close to the ground) and I don’t talk the same.

I took a similar quiz a while back here, and the results came out the same. That pretty much closes the case.

No wonder they look at me funny in Tennessee and Georgia when I say, “Yo! Haya dooin’?”

Yesterday’s election in New Jersey proved to be a field day for incumbents. In the State Senate, all but three of the incumbents running for office were re-elected, while in the State Assembly, only one incumbent was booted. The obvious “takeaway” (I so hate that term) is that everything is just fine with the state of the State of New Jersey, thank you very much.

The more subtle “takeaway” is that the current state of affairs is fine with the majority of the 25 to 30% of the registered voters who actually bothered to show up at the polls to vote. And, in my view, most of them have some sort of a financial or political stake in maintaining the status quo.

For the 70 to 75% of you registered voters in Jersey who believe that being informed means never missing your favorite “Reality” show and who couldn’t drag your ass away from Oprah or your soap operas long enough to vote, I have the following bit of flash traffic for you:

By not staying informed and by not voting, you have waived your bitching rights. The next time a truckload of Trenton political rats is carted away in cuffs, or the next time your taxes are raised to the point of making you puke, kindly spare me your whiny bullshit. Don’t waste my goddamned time. You had your chance to change things, and you blew it.

A teeny-weeny ray of hope did appear in the election. Those who found the time to come to the polls voted down the referendum that would have played a shell game with the sales tax to enable further tinkering with the other shell game known as the “property tax rebate.” They also nixed the state’s borrowing of $450 million to fund stem cell research, a project so favored by the Governor that, at the eleventh hour, he tossed in $150 thousand of his own money for advertisements. Apparently, even many democrats are awakening to the reality of the state’s dire financial straits and did not fall for the ads that tried to turn a bond issue into a referendum on compassion or a lack thereof for people afflicted with tragic medical conditions.

I should also note that in several districts there were no incumbents running for office, due either to retirements or resignations of incumbents (often relating to ongoing criminal investigations or prosecutions), and, as such, there will be some new faces in the legislature. While, at first blush, it might appear as if that could signal the possibility of reform, I don’t believe it will happen. Once the newbies hit Trenton, the well-entrenched, recently re-elected good ol’ boys will show them how things work in Jersey government, and the newly elected (in most cases, after having been finically backed by the controlling party) will go along to get along. It will be more of the same ol’ crap.

Look for yet more Garden Staters to simply pack up and get outta Dodge.

Dear Garden Staters,

Today is ELECTION DAY. This is your chance to change things. If you don’t vote the current crop of cruds out of office, don’t even think about talking to me about the taxes and corruption in the state.

That is all.

Neither.

I took the picture with my cell phone this morning on the way to work. It’s just one of a zillion possible pictures that could serve to show that New Jersey is much more than tank farms and chemical factories. It also reminds me that the state where I have lived all my life (except for a couple years, courtesy of Uncle Sam) is worth saving.

Tomorrow, the rogues and crooks who have put the state on the brink of financial, social and economic collapse will all be up for re-election. Sadly, I have no doubt that the overwhelming majority of them (if not all of them) will be returned to Trenton by the voters of New Jersey, most of whom will stay home tomorrow, leaving the voting to those with a direct stake in continuing with the mess that got us to where we are now**.

I wish I were wrong, but I know I’m right.

We’ll know in roughly 24 hours.

** I find it notable that, as I write this on the night before the election, there is not a single story on the front page of NJ.com concerning tomorrow’s election – not one damned story.

You’ve Got Questions? I’ve got Answers.
Because I’m Very Smart, and You’re … Very Not.

Dear Senator Clinton:

First, let me say that I am very happy that you are willing to take the time from your busy campaign schedule to answer our questions. You are an exceedingly smart and very important person, and, as one of your most loyal supporters, I wish you the best of luck in the primaries and later in the general election.

Now, for my question.

What do you think of that Tim Russert guy having the nerve to ask you that “gotcha” question about the Governor of New York’s plan to give driver’s licenses to illegal aliens undocumented workers in New York, the state you represent in the Senate?

Sincerely,

Edgar Reynolds

Dear Edgar,
First, let me say that it is always a pleasure to answer the questions posed by politically astute people like you. While it is true that I am exceedingly smart and very important, I am, first and foremost, a people person. Ask anyone who knows me.

Memo to that Hamster Face bag of Buffalo shit: Once I’m elected, your ass is mine.

Dear Senator Clinton:

I am a lifelong democrat and one of your great admirers. Still, this is the primary season, and I am weighing my choices for who ought to be our standard bearer in the 2008 elections. In that regard, I would greatly appreciate your candid assessment of the other democrat candidates. It will be a valuable aid in helping me to make my choice in the primary election in my state.

Sincerely,

Martin Balzik

Dear Martin,

P.S. You’ll note that I did not mention that Mike Gravel guy. Frankly, I forgot about that nutcase, and I trust you did as well.

Dear Senator Clinton:

After enduring the unfair treatment you were afforded at the most recent debate by those so-called “men” on the stage ganging up on you, not to mention that turncoat moderator, are you taking any special steps to prepare yourself for the next debate?

Your loyal supporter,

Marilyn McDyke

Dear Marilyn,

Yes, I plan on using nipple clamps for four hours prior to the debate.

Previous Editions of “Ask Hillary”:

Vol. 1
Vol. 2
Vol. 3
Vol. 4
Vol. 5
Vol. 6
Vol. 7
Vol. 8

Nuttin’ today.

Chilly and damp outside.

Have to go out for the evening in a bit.

Probably have something tomorrow.

Play nice.

P.S. Don’t forget to toin yer clocks back one hour.

This horse has more rhythm and is a better dancer than most peeps I know.

Amazing.

Last Saturday, when we all dragged our hungover asses** to the excellent little restaurant in Tennessee where none of the cups, plates and silverware match, the exceedingly nice waitress ticked off what items were available at the All-You-Can-Eat Breakfast Bar. She mentioned eggs, bacon, sausage, ham, pancakes, biscuits ‘n gravy and “fried baloney.” (Yeah, I know it’s spelled “bologna,” but to me, “Bologna” is a city in Italy).

”Did she say ‘fried baloney?’”

Yowza! Say no more. I’m having at the Breakfast Bar.

You see, fried baloney was a staple in our house as I was growing up. We regularly had fried baloney sandwiches and baloney and eggs for breakfast, lunch or dinner. To this day I think that fried baloney and eggs are an important part of a hangover breakfast, which I have managed to cook at times when only one eye would open and I could barely swallow my own spit.

In the Tennessee Café, it was served in single, rather thickish slices. I liked it fine, but the way I have always made it begins with thinly sliced baloney. You cut the baloney into bite-sized pieces and fry it for about three minutes. Then, you dump scrambled eggs over the baloney in the frying pan and cook until firm.

You gobble that down with rye toast with lots of butter on it, and you wash it all down with strong, black coffee. The finishing touch is a cold, carbonated beverage (cream soda works well) to clear out all the grime in your throat.

Then, if at all possible, you take a nap.

There you have it.

You’re welcome.

** Except for Bou, Morrigan and Sissy, all of whom were farookin’ “perky.”