I worked late. I’m tired. I’m wired. And, I’m more than a little torqued off with the political landscape.

I’ve decided what I will do on Tuesday. I figure there ought to be at least one candidate in November who believes in capitalism and the proper role of the federal government. I hope that of the dozen republicans in this state at least seven of them feel the same way.

Socialism is simply not my bag.

Simi Valley, California.
Senator John McCain, the current frontrunner for the Republican presidential nomination, stunned his supporters today with his announcement that he is dropping out of the presidential race for “purely personal reasons.” He thanked his supporters and urged that they get behind Senator Hillary Clinton’s bid for the presidency.

The Arizona Senator stated, “My friends, today I am asking you to give your full support to the candidacy of Senator Hillary Clinton. She and I are of the same view when it comes to the important issues of our time, such as taxation of the rich and the plight of the undocumented workers in the United States. With respect to the war in Iraq, my friends, please remember that Senator Clinton originally supported the war, and I am confident that she will come around after the election. She will make a wonderful president.”

Yes, sports fans, it has been more than four years since PRS has hosted Celebrity Boxing, so I think it is time for another evening of high-profile slugfests, which, as in the past, feature the matchup and the guaranteed outcome.

The Match
Senator Chris “I’m Grey and OK” Dodd vs. Senator Joe “Plugs” Biden

The Result
In a curious match, where both parties agreed to talk at each other rather than actually fight, Senator Biden wins the decision, largely because he plagiarized the patter of Cassius Clay Muhammad Ali.

The Match
Dick “12 Gauge” Cheney vs. Nancy “Scalpel” Pelosi

The Result
The match is halted by the ring physician when seconds after the sound of the opening bell, Pelosi sneezed and her face split in two.

The Match
Mitt “GQ” Romney vs. John “Cheeks” McCain

The Result
Romney wins by a knockout when, in the second round, he hit McCain in the jaw with a bag of money sending McCain down for the count. After the bout, McCain filed a formal complaint with the Boxing Commissioner claiming that that Romney “bought” the victory. In an ironic twist, the Commissioner ruled that, while Romney violated the rules, he should be granted amnesty as a matter of compassion.

The Match
Barack “Yo Mama” Obama vs. Hillary “She Devil” Clinton

The Result
Midway through the fifth round, Obama falls to the canvas. The referee counts him out. Only after his corner men were unable to revive him, did they discover that he had succumbed to a fatal knife wound in his back. The D.C. Coroner ruled the death a suicide.

Yesterday Mrs. Parkway, daughter, son-in-law and I crossed the Hudson River to spend some time in the Big Apple and to use the show tickets that were gifted to us by daughter and son-in-law. Seeing as how I hate to drive into New York and Mrs. Parkway would sooner face a firing squad than drive into New York, Son-in-Law did the honors.

Rather than send you into Snoozeville with a meandering narrative, here are the high points:

Dinner at Becco. The restaurant was established by “Lidia” of television and cook book fame. Reservations a must. Very good food. Bring lots of money, unless you’re having the spaghetti special and a Coke.

After Dinner Drinks at Firebird. Whoa! It’s a serious Russian Restaurant, but we weren’t there for the food. I insisted that we go there (based on the recommendation of a colleague), because they serve more than one hundred kinds of vodka. … mercy

The signature drink is the honey vodka, a concoction made on the premises using a secret recipe of honey and multiple spices. It is served in a frozen, tiny flute, and it is most excellent. As good as the honey vodka is, I would not recommend planning to get shitfaced drinking it, because it (and all the other vodkas on the menu) go for twelve dollars a rattle. Yes, that’s twelve bucks for something like an ounce and a half of booze. Oh, and should you want that vodka turned into a martini (i.e. a dash of vermouth, shaken or stirred), you can add another fiver, making it a seventeen dollar drink.

The Show. We saw Mary Poppins, a Mrs. Parkway fave. Here’s the goofy thing. Having never seen the movie, I figure I was the only person in the audience who had no idea what the heck the story was about. Worked out pretty well for me, I’d say. The singing and dancing were spectacular, as was Mary’s “flying” all over the stage. It was a fun show, and I recommend it to anyone coming into New York with children.

The Parking. I figure that Johnny Sack must have the parking gig sewn up in New York, because the ransom for four or five hours of parking on a Sunday night was a mere $29.00.

Hey, it’s the Theater District, yo.

Here’s how the “Great White Way” looks when you hold your cell phone camera over your head and shoot a picture.

Read this, and try to suppress your gag reflex.

I have often said that if an average citizen had a background like hers, he/she wouldn’t be considered trustworthy enough to be hired as a supermarket cashier. Neither would Bill.

It is difficult to imagine anything more frightening than a former New Jersey Hudson County political boss being a heartbeat away from the presidency. Then again, the president whose heartbeat would keep him in the second chair is equally as frightening.

Click.

I’ll tell you how long. It’s been a long damned time since hearing a song for the first time stood the hair up on the back of my neck. This one did it for me.

There is so much great stuff going on in this song, it makes my brains fall out. For those peeps who appreciate the way a fine song is built, I recommend you just LISTEN to it a few times before you risk being distracted by the video.

Damn, that’s a good one.

I have often said that I refuse to own a chainsaw, because I prefer not to known as “Stumpy.” I do, however, harbor a certain fascination with bigass machines. I would actually like to play with this one, but all animal life would be well advised to give me lots of room.

Oh, and I doubt that my buddy GuyK could pick one of these units up at a local garage sale.

Thanks to Brian, the Air Force Vet.

Dear Senator Clinton:

I am really bummed. You were in New Jersey yesterday, and you didn’t stop by the House by the Parkway? It’s not like Jersey is a big state or anything. You know, like Texas? Was it something I said?

In anticipation of your visit to the Garden State, I had stocked up on Taylor Ham and chocolate vodka. I figure we could have sipped a couple chocolate vodkas (right from the freezer) and dined on Taylor Ham and Cheese sandwiches on hard rolls.

For after dinner, I had some Dylan and Joan Baez LPs ready for the turntable. I even would have let you sit in Mr. Recliner. After that, I could have played some guitar. I know all three chords to Kumbaya. I would have sung the harmony part while you sang the melody. It would have been, like, a mystic crystal revelation.

I’m so disappointed. Was it that I couldn’t offer you any weed?

Your pal,
Jimbo