Get you a cherry coke and check out a piece of my yoot. It’s a shame that many of youse peeps missed it. There were no computers or cell phones then, but somehow we managed just fine, thank you.

Thanks to Usual Suspect Jeff, da Chef a da Future.

Let me just say that if Junior (who is NOT MY CAT) pulled this shit, it would mark the end of the gourmet morning and evening victuals and a place to sleep off his nighttime carryings on, the particulars of which I dare not consider.

Farookin’ cat.

Thanks to my pal Randy for the pic.

Fort Wayne, Indiana. Senator Clinton stunned her supporters at a campaign rally today when she announced her withdrawal from the Democrat Primary and her endorsement of John McCain for President and her intention to actively campaign for the Senator from Arizona.

Senator Clinton explained to a virtually silent crowd, “I’m sick and tired of hearing those say that by staying in this primary race I am somehow damaging the Democratic Party. I have given this considerable thought, and I have concluded that if the party is hell bent on nominating a no-experience, platitude blathering pal of domestic terrorists, a racist minister and common criminals, go for it. I will team up with Senator McCain to crush Senator Obama and the Democratic Party in November.”

A spokesperson for the McCain Campaign stated, “Senator McCain is extremely happy with Senator Clinton’s endorsement. Senator McCain and Senator Clinton share the same views on many of the issues that are important to the American people.”

When asked if Senator McCain would consider Senator Clinton to be his running mate, McCain’s spokesperson responded, “Senators McCain and Clinton have what they have described as ‘friendly and productive discussions’ about the possibility of being running mates. Let me just say that a McCain – Clinton ticket is a real possibility.”

Details.

Imagine having a couple three vodkas and taking this stroll.

Keep in mind that the person doing the walking was simultaneously shooting the video.

Yeef!

Thanks to Mike, the Computer Mavin, for the bowel-loosening link.

Update: More info on this locale here.

Boom!

I wish I would have written this.

I saw this on my recent trip to the Left Coast. The cell phone photo is not very good, but I couldn’t resist taking the picture.

The sign reads:

FREE SPEECH BOOTH
Solicitation of Funds may Occur

Presumably this is the place where conservatives are sent to talk amongst themselves.

That’s what these two businessmen thought when they committed the terms of their rather complex business arrangement to a two-page, handwritten contract and each signed it. Their homegrown contract, written on notebook paper, provided that they would “complete formal contracts as soon as possible, but this is binding.”

Six months later, things went sour and no “formal contracts” were in place. Seven years’ worth of litigation (including two trials) later, the court upheld the validity of the contract and the jury awarded the plaintiff $10.5 million.

Free Legal Advice Department — A few lessons here about contracts:

1. Spending a little time with a lawyer up front can prevent you from spending lots and lots of time with lots and lots of lawyers down the road, if things go badly.

2. Things go badly much more often than you might think.

3. Some things that look like contracts are not contracts, but some things that don’t look much like contracts very well might be contracts.

4. Words matter.

5. Be careful what you sign.

You’re welcome.

In fact, this is not even MY CAT.

But he still shows up at least twice per day looking for the gourmet cat food that Mrs. Parkway serves up. Here is a photo of ol’ Junior taken one morning a few weeks ago during his post-prandial nap, presumably after having spent a rough night at being … well … a Tom Cat.

It’s not a particularly flattering photo, but it’s fair to say that none of us would be very photogenic while in stage-four sleep after a big meal and a night of Christ knows what.

Note: All indications are that the WordPress 2.5 image issue was solved by using a fix recommended in the WP Forum for IE users. There is no need to tell you that somebody else was kind enough to execute the fix. Now, I just have to learn to work the application.

Oh, they just couldn’t wait to e-mail me the story, or blog it and link to me. First across the finish line with an e-mail about the story was Shamrocketship, then came Montana Dave’s e-mail about the story, both of whom were hoping to be the first to send me the story. They were followed by a clutch of sadistic readers, who e-mailed me the story, obviously thinking that a day without loosening ol’ Jimbo’s bowels is like a day without sunshine. This morning I see that my pal over at Compass Points is blogging the story and asking me about my next trip to Florida.

So what’s the story?

As you may well have guessed before clicking the link, the story involves an alligator. No, not just your run-of-the-mill story about an alligator strutting his ugly ass down the street or wandering around in a parking lot. This one involves a woman who walked into her kitchen only to be confronted by an eight foot alligator in her kitchen. That’s right. In her farookin’ KITCHEN! WTF?

Even as mellow as Florida Peeps claim to be about alligators, this woman was a bit rattled when she called the cops (audio here), particularly when the police operator asked, “How long is it? … Are you sure it couldn’t be an iguana?” A freakin’ iguana?

Video of the capture of this prehistoric monster is here.

If I walked into my kitchen and was confronted with an eight-foot alligator, my intestines would instantly empty and I might well have “the big one.” I sure as shit would wind up in therapy. Yo, IT WAS IN THE FAROOKIN’ KITCHEN!

You FINKS know damned well that I will be in Florida next month, so you obviously take particular joy in stories like this at this time of the year.

Sadistic bastards.