I see that the current bailout plan provides for bailing out institutions that made bad car loans, credit card companies, and institutions that made student loans. It doesn’t matter that you’ve managed your finances such that you only buy what you can afford, and you behaved like a responsible grownup, helping out these institutions is your patriotic duty.

While we’re at it, here are some other institutions that we should consider helping:

Casinos: They absolutely need the taxpayer to bail them out when people who had a bad run at the craps table don’t pay off their markers.

Da Mob: Taxpayers should make them whole if breaking the knees of their debtors still doesn’t get them paid, and bumping them off ensures non-payment. These guys truly need our help.

Landlords: We simply cannot let them be screwed by deadbeat tenants.

Evil Oil Companies: Why should they take a hit when people don’t pay their gasoline credit card bills?

Restaurant and Bar Owners: They deserve our helping hands when people eat and drink and don’t pay their tabs.

Excuse me while I puke.