Economy got you down? Politics making you crazed?

Need a breather?

These absolutely amazing 4th, 5th, and 6th grade girls will put a smile on your face.

I guarantee it.

Thanks to reader, Dick, for the link.

Shut up!

I am sorely pissed.

I had my tax return prepared yesterday, and, as usual, I will be writing a sizeable check to the United States Treasury, the proceeds of which will immediately be sucked into the gaping federal rat hole created by the rogues in Washington.

While still fuming over the amount of tribute I am forced to pay to the government, I received a call from a young fellow from the Republican National Committee who asked me whether I would be “renewing” my membership (i.e. sending money) in the Republican Party.

The guy picked a bad night to call.

I began by saying that he sounded like a perfectly fine guy, but that I would consider “renewing” my membership when I see more Republicans in Washington develop “something resembling a spine and vocally oppose the crap that is going on in Washington now.” I stated that they could set an example by not seeking earmarks and voting against any other legislator’s earmarks. I added that they should all re-read the Constitution (assuming they’ve ever read it in the first place) and legislate accordingly.

After a pause (The guy’s surely was figuring, “Damn, I caught the nutbar.”), the fellow dutifully continued reading his script, which consisted of a litany of broad conservative principles. I interrputed his speech, noting that I already know the conservative principles and that I would “renew” my membership (i.e. send money) when I see Republicans actually acting on those principles.

I thanked him for his call. After all, it’s not his fault that the Democrats are dismantling the country and the Republicans are just standing around and watching it happen.

Great stuff. Listen and watch.

Thanks to Willie, the Guitar Guy.

Yes, that’s what Branford Marsalis (brother of Wynton, the Trumpetmeister) has to say.

Word.

Thanks to my buddy Mike the Computer Maven, who found it here.

No, really!

Maybe he figured out how to chew through beer cans.

Snagged from Hammer’s excellent site.

This is the probably the most violated law in New Jersey, with the exception of the laws against bribery and corruption.

I recall finding myself in Los Angeles twenty or so (gack!) years ago, and I was positively astounded by the courtesy of the city’s motorists all of whom stopped as I stood on the curb by a crosswalk and waited for me to cross. I smiled and waved thank-you to every one of them. A few days into the trip, one of the locals informed me that the drivers weren’t being nice; they were simply obeying the law.

In New Jersey, yield to pedestrians in a crosswalk? Ha! Don’t count on it. Any time you step into a street (without a traffic light) around here, you have to do the instamath:

How far is it to the other side”

Do I plan on running, walking briskly or strolling?

How far away is the nearest vehicle?

What is its estimated speed?

Where is the approximate “Death Zone” in the street?

Given the foregoing, can I make it across the “Death Zone?”

It is important to remember that when doing the instamath, you must assume that the oncoming vehicle’s speed will remain constant. Never, ever assume that the driver will slow down upon seeing you in the street. Staying out of the “Death Zone” is strictly up to the pedestrian.

As a result of the widespread violation of, or ignorance of the law and far too many people being turned into Road Pizza, some towns, such as mine, have taken to placing signs such as the one shown above in busy intersections. As you can see, the one above (photographed during today’s groundpound) has been taken down and deposited onto the sidewalk. ”We don’t need no steeeenkin’ signs.”

Life in the Garden State: Adventureland.

I cannot get this image out of my head. Of course, it doesn’t help that it’s all over the web, but, even with that, I suspect the image will stick with me for a long time. The spectacle of the President of the United States of America bowing to the Saudi King Abdullah is simultaneously sickening and enraging.

Call me old fashioned, but I believe that the President of the United States, in his role as President, should bow to no mortal. None. Ever.

If being a member-in-good-standing of the world community means that the President must behave as a supplicant to anyone, let alone a monarch of a repressive country and a country, which, but for sitting atop of sea of oil, would be little more than a collection of desert nomads stuck in the seventh century, we shouldn’t join the club.

While the barber tonsorial artist was cutting my hair this morning, the following exchange ensued:

Tonsorial Artist: I’d give my left nut to have your hair.

Me: I don’t think I’d go that far.

PRS operatives, always on the case, have managed to get a copy of one of The One’s partially completed “To Do” Lists.

1. Pick out gift for Queen Whatshername. Maybe something musical, but No CDs!

2. Fire that capitalist pig who runs GM.

3. Tell Rahm to get moving on a new GM Board of Directors.

4. Return Bill Ayers’ call re: speaking gigs.

5. Thank Nancy Pelosi for the weed.

6. Call Soros: ACORN loved the rifles, but they want bayonets. Important for door-to-door canvassing. See if Soros will help.

7. Figure out someplace to send Biden where no one will see or hear the dopey bastard.

8. Learn about military stuff, like guns and missiles.

9. Ask Holder what’s keeping him from getting that capitalist pig Limbaugh off the air.

10. Ask Holder to have one of his guys draft an Executive Order – I will no longer be addressed as “Mr. President,” but rather as “My Leader.”