1. Memo to New York Drivers: When driving on a New Jersey Highway (We don’t call them “Freeways” or “Interstates”) and you have been passed on the right by two cars, or, in the alternative, passed by one car in which the driver gave you the stink eye or the finger), MOVE THE F**K TO THE RIGHT! How many stink eyes and fingers do I have to give to you maroons? Besides, it’s the goddamned law in this state. Where the hell is a state trooper when you need one?

2. At a blogmeet a few years ago, my pal and, first-class babe, Bou, mentioned that she had played the flute in high school, but that she didn’t play anymore. Of course, back then, I thought that she took the obligatory “instrument” in high school for a year, learned how not to horribly stink and then moved on. Little did I know that she played in one goddamned national award-winning high school band. Go listen. Holy cannoli!

3. Doesn’t it strike you as odd that the mainstream media has managed to all but ignore the videos of ACORN people offering to help people set up a prostitution ring comprised of under-aged-illegal aliens and to evade income taxes, while at the same time exhausting every conceivable angle from and squeezing every single drop from the Joe Wilson (“You lie!”) story? Actually, that was a rhetorical question.

4. The glut of “Buy gold NOW” commercials I hear on the radio is somewhat unsettling, but I guess that’s the idea.

5. Anyone who managed to successfully complete fifth grade arithmetic knows (or damned well should know) that it is impossible – yes, IMPOSSIBLE, to parachute 47 million 30 million people into the healthcare system, all of whom will have access to “free” healthcare, and not have it negatively impact the system. Pay for it with “doing away with waste” in Medicare and Medicaid? I could piss my pants laughing. The problem is, there is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

6. If explosive, debilitating diarrhea could be a human being, it would be Maxine Waters. People actually voted for this idiot?

7. Memo to Scotland: Bourbon is better.

8. Memo to Ireland: Bourbon is better.

9. Memo to Mark Lloyd: Kiss my ass.

10. Memo to Jon Corzine: Adios.