Yes, it truly is the non-breaking, non-exclusive, non-blockbuster story of the day. It is guaranteed not to keep you glued to your radio or to your TV screen for hours on end, but HERE IT IS.

Brace yourself.

My Waste-of-Oxygen congressperson was one of the swine who voted to continue to fund ACORN. Jesus Christ!

ACORN, in my view, is ripe for a RICO indictment, but the chances of that happening under The One’s administration are about equal to the chances of getting hit with a piece of space junk while on a date with Heidi Klum. What’s more, any thought of writing to my Waste-of-Oxygen congressperson to voice my disapproval of his position would be about as productive as shouting “Fire!” into a pure vacuum. Mr. Payne has run unopposed in his Gerrymandered district for as long as I can remember. (Portions of his district rival Somalia for the “Shithole of the Year” Award.) Besides, based upon his past history, he would likely be in Africa for some bullshit reason or another when my letter reached his office.

It’s no wonder I drink.

That is all.