Hey, Gang. It’s time to play “Death is Not an Option” again. Remember, the rules are you must choose one of the options provided, and keep in mind that death is not an option.

Would you rather:

(a) Be Mr. Pelosi; or
(b) Be Mr. Bobbit?
Remember, death is not an option.

(a) Watch a non-stop DVD of an entire year’s worth of Keith Olbermann’s “Special Commentaries”; or
(b) Passionately mug it up with Joy Behar?
Remember, death is not an option.

(a) Listen to Yoko Ono’s “Greatest Hits” repeated non-stop for 72 hours; or
(b) Have one of your ears bitten off by a rabid raccoon?
Remember, death is not an option.

(a) Watch Barbra Streisand pole dance naked; or
(b) Pour gasoline on your stindeens and light them on fire?
Remember, death is not an option.

(a) Spend an evening with Bill Maher; or
(b) Have a ten penny nail driven into your forehead?
Remember, death is not an option.

(a) Work as a New York Times reporter; or
(b) Shovel elephant shit at the circus?
Remember, death is not an option.