A couple weeks ago, when I was experiencing some serious post-surgical “ouchies,” I found myself captive to television in the wee hours of the morning. Although I spent most of the time drifting in and out, I remember a few things that left me scratching my head.

Storm Chasers
Who are those peeps? They ride in tanky-looking things that appear to have been fabricated by the Little Rascals. What’s the idea here? Pictures? They seem to break their asses finding a storm, and when they find one they chase it, then when they’ve caught it, they shit their pants and run like hell away from it, the last part seeming like a smart move.

Late Night Infomercials
Who knew I can actually buy a steam-making thing that looks like an upright vacuum cleaner that I can use to clean the top of the stove?

Who knew that I can use a choppy-grindy thing to make delicious meals in seconds, provided that one makes delicious meals a half-cup at a time.

I’ve begun to kick myself in the ass for having spent so much time in school and actually going to work when I could have made multiple gazillion dollars in real estate by working about ten minutes per week.

Hmmmmm, maybe I really could use a couple Japanese Samurai Swords or some decoratively painted state quarters.