Hey, you’re Al Gore, aren’t you?

Why, yes I am.

So, you believe that carbon dioxide is a pollutant?

Absolutely. No doubt about it. There is a scientific consensus on that point, you know.

Dude, I need carbon dioxide to stay alive!

Ha! Obviously, you’re a denier and a right-wing nutcase.

Obviously, you’re a moron.

Wait. You don’t understand. When people do things that create carbon dioxide …

You mean, like, exhale?

You really are a Flat-Earther. Listen to me. When people do things that create carbon dioxide, they can buy carbon credits from one of my companies. I then keep most of the money and use a bit of it to hire undocumented workers to plant more trees.

Yeah, but all those new trees need carbon dioxide in order to stay alive.

Not a problem. I have an unlimited supply of carbon credits.

OK, I get it now.

Good.

You’re a moron and a con artist.