This is the type of “investment” The One wants to make with government our money. I wish this Mystery Man would go the hell back to whatever it was he was doing before he decided to inflict himself on the country.

I’m tired and a little cranky. My left leg is sore; probably from too much groundpounding too soon after having been leveled by a cold for two weeks. I don’t much feel like writing, so I offer up this amazing video shot in Africa.

As the drama unfolds, note that it appears that the buffalo go off camera and hold a meeting, after which they return and demonstrate strength in numbers. I think there is a message there to the socialist dipshits running the country these days.

Oh, and, yes. There is also a crocodile (Yeef!).

Sent by reader, Dick. Thanks

… and you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your relatives.

I’m sure that Tony Blair would agree.

Listen to this dizzy bitch’s nonsense. She has no idea how jobs are created, and it’s for damned sure she’s never held one.

1. A steaming pile of bullshit. (I’ll reconsider that if it turns out that the health care negotiations really were on C-Span and I missed them.)

2. I can’t even stand to listen to his voice.

That is all.

As you all doubtless know, Jack LaLanne passed away last week. (Elisson did a nice post about Mr. LaLanne). My condolences to Mr. LaLanne’s family.

Mr. LaLanne had a long career, which included, among other things, pitching juicers on television. (Juicers are those widgets that grind up and squoosh fruits and vegetables, turning them into mondo-healthy juices, or so we were told.) His passing reminded me of my one-time foray into the world of “juicing.” I started to write about the experience, when I realized that I had written about it five years ago. Oy! I’ve been at this too long.

Anyway, I went back and re-read the post and liked it. So, I figure that those of you who have not been frequenting this place for five years might get a kick out of it. Hell, those of you who may have read it five years ago, might enjoy reading it again. I did.

Check out “Jimbo and da Juicer.”

Note: I had to update some links. Linked by Doug Ross. Thanks!

A real woman is a man’s best friend.

She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he’s the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible…

No wait… Sorry..

I’m thinking of whiskey.

It’s whiskey that does all that shit.

Never mind.

Sent to me by Da Chef of Da Future, a guy who appreciates a real woman good whiskey

In these economically troubled times, I hate to see anyone become unemployed, but I’ll happily make an exception in the case of Keith – the Mondo Douchebag – Olbermann. I watched him just often enough to wonder if he had any idea how very comical his “Special Commentaries” were. They amounted to little more than a spittle-drenched string of polysyllabic nonsense that might impress a fourteen-year old struggling with his essay for the Rotary Club writing competition. As for Keith’s adult (biologically speaking) fans, I figure if you harvested all their gray matter, you might just have enough for one normal brain.

I have no idea where in the broadcasting world this jackass will end up, but I confess to having a fantasy that I may someday get to look the flaming asshole in the eye and say, “Yeah, I’ll have fries with that.”

I’m … like … uninspired … totally.

Maybe I’ll be … like … un-uninspired tomorrow … like … totally.

Here’s something that frosts my stindeens.

Declarative sentences should not be punctuated with a question mark, nor should they sound like questions when spoken.

One sure way to glaze my eyes over is to talk to me with that bullshit interrogative inflection in your voice at the end of your sentences.

That is … like … all?