Hello there.

Maybe you didn’t hear me; I said, “Hello.”

I heard you, but I don’t have to be polite to you, because as of next year, you’re toast, and I’ll be the only game in town.

Why is that?

The government says you’re bad for the environment.

That’s crazy. I’m comprised of glass and a tiny metal filament. I come on instantly in all kinds of weather, and I’ve been lighting homes and businesses for more than one-hundred years. If I break, one needs only to sweep up the glass and put it in the trash. You, on the other hand, don’t come on instantly, you cause epileptic seizures in some people and you contain mercury, with the result being that if you break, one has to call a hazmat team to clean up and properly dispose of the toxic mess.

You’re killing the polar bears.

You must be a democrat.

Absolutely.

Figures.