Remember back in 2001 when Bill Clinton made a big news splash by deciding to locate his offices on 125th Street in Harlem? Sure you do. The media gushed. Charles Rangel gushed when he introduced his pal Bill at the Harlem welcoming ceremonies as “the last president we ever had that was elected.” Bill gushed too: “Now I feel like I’m home,” he told the cheering audience. He went on to bullshit tell the crowd about how, as a student, he would “walk down 125th Street, all the way west. And people would come up and ask me what I was doing here. And I said, `I don’t know,’ I just liked it. I felt at home.”

Clinton’s choice of Harlem for his offices moved columnist DeWayne Wickham to say that Clinton’s presence will be “a boon to Harlem.” He went even further:

It will bring to this long-ignored corner of New York City a flood of powerful white politicians who will have a vested interest in improving the lives of the people in Bill Clinton’s adopted neighborhood — and ignite a second Harlem Renaissance.

Mr. Wickham, you’ve been had.

If there is to be a “second Harlem Renaissance,” it sure as hell won’t be due to Bill’s presence in the neighborhood, because as Country Store points out, he is hardly ever there. This is not the first time his absence has been noted, but then, as now, there are plenty of people who are more than willing to give him a pass.

As you may recall, he chose Harlem as the location for his offices when a firestorm erupted over his first choice for office space in pricey midtown Manhattan that would have cost the taxpayers $800,000 per year. His Harlem digs will cost the taxpayers a mere $354,000 per year over the course of a ten-year lease.

We’ve all been had … again.

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) has aggressively opposed the appointment of Janice Rogers Brown, Associate Justice of the California Supreme Court, to a judgeship on the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals.

There is no dispute that Justice Brown is a “colored person.” There is also no dispute that moving from the California State Courts to the D.C. Circuit constitutes an “advancement.” So how can an organization that, by its own name, purports to stand for the advancement of colored people be so vehemently opposed to Justice Brown’s judicial appointment? [/rhetorical question]

Perhaps, in the interest of candor, the organization should change its name to the “National Association for the Advancement of Some Colored People” (NAASCP). Or, given the statements of the likes of Julian Bond or Kweisi Mfume, the organization should consider calling itself the “National Organization for the Advancement of Very Liberal Colored People” (NAAVLCP).

The opposition to Justice Brown is ugly.

The Black Commentator has referred to her as “Clarence Thomas in a Fright Wig,” and has depicted her in this manner (along with equally odious depictions of Clarence Thomas, Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice).

I guess that sort of thing gets a pass, if it appears in the Black Commentator.

One wonders how long it will take for the NAACP and the Black Commentator to get around to calling Justice Brown a “Neanderthal.”

My plan for today is to add a few links to Mr. Blogroll, then spend a bit of time reading – a book. I’ll probably lurk around a bit later.

With that, I give you the following excellent blogs:

Dax Montana. This is another southern guy who resonates very well with this born and bred Jersey Yankee. I gotta figure out how to get a slug of that Georgia brandy. Just Damn! Today he has written a hard rending post about his long friendship with his three-legged dog. Dog owners will get it.

Tasty Manatees. My first exposure to this site was this excellent post, and I have been a regular ever since. Blogging from the nation’s capital, Ryan scores regular political bullseyes.

Trying to Grok. The author, Sarah, is a military spouse, living in Germany. She writes passionately about the military, politics and things in general. She has done a wonderful job telling the individual stories of many of our military personnel who have been wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan. I am now one of her regulars.

Go forth and read.

Well, that may not be news to you, but check this out.

OK, so I dragged my sorry ass out of bed this morning, put on my raggedy walking duds and headed out the door for my walk. It was brisk and very windy – a nice day to be out strutting around. As usual, during the walk I thought about all sorts of things, including the rest of the work week and how I would prioritize the things in the seemingly ever-present pile of stuff to do.

After about an hour of walking, I turned the corner into my neighborhood. I noticed the people in the house on the corner had put their recyclables by the curb. I thought, “Recyclables? Today? Ha! These people must be new to the neighborhood.” Feeling a bit smug about my recyclable knowledge, I strode on, only to see that a half dozen other people had their recyclables out by the curb, and a few more were putting them out at that moment.

I thought, “Why the hell is everyone putting their stuff out so early? Surely they must know that if you put stuff out before 5PM on the evening before pickup, the garbage police will do really bad things to you. They all can’t be new to the neighborhood. I’m sure I would have noticed. And yet, here it is 8 AM, and these knuckleheads are putting recyclables out on Thursday morning, when they know damned well that recyclables get picked up on Friday.”

“Friday?”

WHAMMO!!!

I had one of those Twilight Zone, loss-of-sense-of time-and-place moments. I stopped walking. “Could TODAY be Friday? Nah. No way. Can’t be. Yesterday was Wednesday, and that makes today Thursday. Did I miss an announcement in the paper about a change in the recyclable pick-up day? …….. Oh shit. Could TODAY really be Friday?”

I looked at the little calendar on my watch. It clearly displayed the number “14.” Knowing that 11th (Veterans Day) was Tuesday, I did the arithmetic. In fact, I did it three times, even counting fingers, and confirmed that today is, in fact Friday.

I somehow lost a day this week. It felt momentarily great knowing that I only had to work one more day. However, my euphoria soon passed, and it was replaced by the realization that losing a day is something that I had always thought happened only to drunks and old farts.

YIKES!!!!!!!

Makeup and a good photographer can make miracles.

Check out this famous singer, with makeup.

Here she is without makeup.

Holy shit!!

Want more proof?

Here’s a picture of me, without makeup.

Here’s a picture of me, with makeup.

I’m available for weddings, banquets, and rowdy parties. Whiskey and songs a specialty.

Hat tip to Res Ipsa Loquitur

As some of you may recall, I previously wrote (May 8, 2003) about Joan Byron- Marasek, also known as the “Tiger Lady,” and her court battle to permit her to continue to keep 24 Bengal tigers on her twelve acres of property in Ocean County, New Jersey. As I noted then, she had come to the attention of the state when a 431 pound tiger was found to be wandering around a residential neighborhood near her home (She denied that the tiger belonged to her). At that time, a state court ordered that the big cats were to be taken away from the Tiger Lady and sent to an animal sanctuary in Texas.

Finally, yesterday, fully six months later, after a federal judge denied the Tiger Lady’s last-ditch effort to stay to stat court’s order to remove the animals, New Jersey animal welfare officials, including biologists and veterinarians, showed up to remove the tigers.

Martin McHugh, director of the state Fish and Wildlife Division, was highly critical of conditions at the facility. The tigers were wallowing knee-deep in a mix of water, mud and feces covering the floor of their compound and some appeared malnourished, he said.

The animals were loaded onto a special truck for transport to the Wild Animal Orphanage in San Antonio, Texas.

However, It may well be that the Tiger Lady has something up her sleeve, because a state inspection of her property this summer revealed that two of the tigers had given birth, and the cubs were not located yesterday. This led Carol Asvestas, executive director of the Wild Animal Orphanage, to speculate that the Tiger Lady may have hidden them. “”We don’t know where the cubs are, and it worries me,” she said. “I’m afraid that in five years we’ll be back here or wherever she goes.”

Well, this year in New Jersey we gassed a couple thousand geese, got rid of a couple dozen tigers, and next month we will unleash several thousand hunters to reduce the black bear population in the state. Who would have ever thought of New Jersey, the most densely populated of the fifty states, to be a regular Wild Farookin’ Kingdom?

Jersey…..Ya gotta love it.

The outcome on this one didn’t surprise me very much.

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Art Carney died yesterday at 85 years old. Although he never took an acting lesson, in my book, he was a genius. Despite a long, illustrious acting career, which included an Oscar for the film “Harry and Tonto,” he was best known for playing Ed Norton, Ralph and Alice’s upstairs neighbor in The Honeymooners.

He and Jackie Gleason made comedic magic, and I always shall have wonderful memories of to joy that their performances brought to my dad and me when we both needed a laugh.

“Helloooooooo ball!!”

I still laugh out loud just thinking about it.

May he rest in peace.

Tomorrow is Veterans Day. Unlike Memorial Day, which is dedicated to those who lost their lives in the service of our country, Veterans Day is the day set aside to honor all veterans, living or dead.

I’m a veteran and, even though while in service, I did my fair share of bitching about being in the military, today I realize that I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to serve, and I am a better person because of it. By cutting off your hair, putting you in a uniform, and treating you as just one of many who has to make do under difficult and aggravating circumstances, the military teaches you in short order that the world does not revolve around you. The Army also provided me with the grit to tolerate and overcome things that were difficult and which I hated at the time. These are lessons that have served me well in civilian life.

In addition, there is something about having served in the military that creates an instant kinship with others who have served. It transcends race, creed, educational level and socioeconomic class, and it lasts a lifetime. Overwhelmingly, my friends today are men who served in the military during the Vietnam War. Today, some are firemen and police officers, truck drivers and mechanics, while others work at various jobs in industry or for the government. None of that matters, for we all share something more basic, and that is that, at one point in our lives, we all were soldiers, sailors, marines or airmen, and that cuts us from the herd. And, to a man, we’re proud of what we did and have great affection and respect for one another. Quite simply, we’re friends in the truest sense of the word.

So on this Veterans Day, I salute them and all of the other men and women who have worn the uniform in service of the country.

I’m not sure which is worse.

This weekend, I went to Costco to pick up some things for the bar at the American Legion. Here are some impressions:

1. English? Does anyone speak it any more?

2. Family gatherings? What is with the people who make a trip to Costco an outing for the extended family? In some cases a half dozen people (with one cart) meander down the aisle, effectively blocking the way for anyone else. They often stop, of course in the center of the aisle, to hold some sort of family meeting. It is difficult to pass, as I don’t know how to say, “excuse me” in Hottentot or whatever language all the aunties and uncles were speaking. I assume that only one family member pays for a membership card, which accounts for these people shopping in packs.

3. Free-Range Children. Children are often left unattended to run up and down the aisles to do whatever tickles their fancy. Feel like bouncing a ball up and down the aisles? No problem. Help yourself to a new basketball from its box and have at it. These feral children are a special treat at the electronic keyboard display.

4. Free Food! Some people spend the morning going from free-sample station to free-sample station bulking up on whatever Costco is trying to get rid of. Don’t worry about what to do with that little paper rice pudding cup and plastic spoon if you’ve finished the pudding on the way to the next free sample station. Just leave your trash on one of the shelves. No one will notice.

6. Garment Plundering. Sure lady, pick up a sweatshirt, unfold it, hold it up to your blimp-like body with boobs like ‘55 Buick bumperettes, and when it doesn’t appear to fit (surprise, surprise), don’t bother re-folding it. Just toss it on a pile and unfold another. Repeat this process until you satisfy yourself that Costco does not stock circus tent sized sweatshirts.

7. Book Plundering. This lady must have studied under the sweatshirt lady. Pick up a book from one of the stacks, take a quick look, and if you don’t like it (maybe it didn’t contain enough pictures), don’t replace it. Just toss it.

8. Parking Lot Blockades. During your family outing to Costco (see above), be sure to spread out in the parking lot when strolling to and from the store at a snail’s pace, thereby ensuring that cars cannot pass your pack, herd, pride, pod, or whatever the hell you call it. It’s a great way to enjoy the outdoors. We’ll all just wait until you get to your destination.

Assholes.

I had a swell time.